Sunday, January 20, 2008
What on earth do i learn here?!
Being overwhelmed with the feeling of frustration for a long long time i always ask this Q ,..."What on earth do i learn here?!".......& i mean in the educational system i'm stuck in & i find out that i almost don't learn,...or let me say i should have learnt much more in the previous years,...especially in the university phase ,.....i know it may seem a -ve approach,....focusing on problems instead of moving forward.... , or a kind of hanging personal defects on others,....etc. & mayb it can b a part of the problem but still it's not the perfect system ,....& still i dnt feel a real progress.....!!!
sometimes i feel that i lost so much time & energy in useless things ,....i know nth is useless & whatever we get through our lives we benefit from it somehow,......but after all there r priorities & i cant c them in their right order ,.......i spent 3.5 years studying in the faculty ,....but have i learnt what i should've learnt through 3.5 years ?!!,...dnt think so,.....no solid basis,...no real practical knowledge ,....nth except some scattered courses related or unrelated to the final specialization with awful unbearable dr's who just focus on trivial things that doesnt add much to me except that growing frustration which is turning into dissatisfaction & demotivation day by day......!!!
i know it's the current situation & i have nth except dealing with it the way it is & benefiting from it as much as i can bla bla bla,...I KNOW,..I KNOW,..I KNOW,...but i can't help it ,...i'm really pissed off with all that ,.....i cant stand losing more years with the least benefit i can have,....i cant stand losing the passion of learning,...i can't stand missing the sense of accomplishment ,...& the worst of all i cant stand the idea that i may fail a course 4 the 1st time in my life for the sake of a bunch of psycho dr's.......I CANT STAND that <-<....!!!
i'm not in a need for someone to tell me that i need a paradigm shift or that i'm ruining evth with the way i think ,...coz it won't help after all as i'm stuck in this freaking state & i've been trying to get out of it for along time & nth worked properly for an acceptable period ,...& no1 can imagine how severe it is to remain that way for along time almost continuously ,...& i mean it... long long time ....!!!
i hate myself being complaining that much ,...coz it doesn't make difference ,....spread -ve energy in the air & make me feel guilty ,...so it makes things worse ,...but that's what it came out of me right now..... & after all it doesn't express the mixture of fury ,..disappointment,...demotivation ....& depression killing me all the time....!!!
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وبصرف النظر عن السقف المنخفض لاهتمامات الناس - وأنت منهم - صعب أن تفهم نفسك .تعمل ما لا توده من أجل ما لا تريده ..لكنك واقع تحت ضغط مجتمع لا يعترف بفرديتك وحقك في الاختيار ..لذلك هو يضعك تحت ضغط معين ..تقطع نفس الطريق ..تذهب إلى أماكن لا تريدها وتفعل ما لا يروق لك من أجل أشياء تكتشف بعدها أنك كنت أسعد بدونها ..ولكن الهوس حولك لا يتركك لحظة بغير ضجيج .. يحاصرونك بالصور الملونة – الكثير منها - ..يفرضون نمطا لا يناسبك ..أسلوب حياة لا تريده ..ينتزعونك - بقسوة - من الأرض والسماء ..تذكر متى نظرت للنجوم بإمعان ؟ وماذا لو أختفي القمر من السماء بمعجزة ، هل ستلاحظ ذلك ؟ وفوق رأسك أسراب كبيرة العدد من العصافير تمارس حياتها ولا شأن لها بك.
أجدادك كانوا على اتصال مباشر بالطبيعة ولكننا فصمنا أنفسنا عنها بالخرسانة والأعمال المكتبية ..وحتما يتسبب الانفصام في اغترابك عن كون معاد. توجد علاقة طردية واضحة بين الحضارة والبساطة ..وكلما أمعن الناس في التكلف قل نصيبهم من التحضر ..يسهل قبول البساطة لو تذكرنا أننا كائنات فانية مصيرها إلى التحلل والإلتحاق بالأرض
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http://www.almesryoon.com/ShowDetailsC.asp?NewID=43769&Page=13&Part=6
الباقي بعدين بقى
^o)..!!!!!!
ma3lesh asly knt 3ayz al7a2 anam we la2eet el link we 2olt a7otto abl mansah 3lshan feh no2ta lazeza. :)
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tab enty fakkarty ennek teseby el kollya 7alan ??
law fakkarty yeb2a dah tabe3y. law mafakkartesh yeb2a as2alek kam so2al.
leh mawdo3 zay dah may7`torsh 3ala balek ? mesh enty shyafa ennek mabtastafedesh ? tab teftekry en qarar zay dah sahl walla sa3b ? tab shayfa en 7obbek le magal derastek me7`alleky mesta7mela el 2araf dah kollo? tab law faskkarty hatshofy elly el katab el maqala -elly fy el post el awel- en kol elly 7awaleky 2assar feky we 7`allaky mata7`desh qarar zay dah ?
tab enty delwa2ty garrabty magal tany 3`er el handasa , shayfa en howa dah elly hayfedek we hatkammely feh ? tab law keda momken teseby handasa 3lshano ?
ana mesh bas2al 3lshan 3ayz egaba. ana bador 7awalen el mawdo3 3lshan a3raf leeh e7na keter beneb2a mesh 3ayzen 7aga we ma3a zalek benkammel feha .
tab3an e7na benet3arrad lel mawdo3 dah fy 7agat keter bas mabykonsh fy edena el mofta7 elly ne7el beh el moshkela zay ma7na 3ayzen. bas dah mosta2balana e7na we kayanna e7na!!!!
yeb2a tabe3y nefakkar walla la2.!!
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howa leh sammeteha "complaining" we ennaha be keda bet3mel -ve energy ?
howa dah maynfa3sh yeb2a tafre3` 3`adab yerayya7 el nafs shewayya we yemken yeddy forsa lel 7al ?
howa fe3lan e7na beneshteky we bas !!!!
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ana sawab3y laza2et fy el keyboard 7`alas el fatra el a7`era dy ;;
fana asef 3ala el tatweel :D
as 4 the article in the 1st reply,.....it's a nice one & mayb i was gonna write about a discussion about sth related to it later,...bas i dnt c it related to the case here :)
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note: el kalam el gay ra3'y 3'areeb keda lely 3ando sabr bas :s
awel 7aga ,..y do i call it complaining ?!
coz IT IS complaining,.....what's the point of it?!!!,..who cares..?! ,& y should any1 care aslan or even listen to that?!....it's just my problem,....either i get my self into it ,...or find myself stuck in it ,....i should manage to get out ,.....& talking much about that among ppl doesn't help,...it makes things worse,...coz words doesn't reveal the issue coz it's not 2 b said it's to b felt ,.....& even if no1 says it i know that it's bothering for any1 to hear such complains coz after all no1 can understand somebody's else problem when it comes to sth confusing like that related to ideas ,...beliefs ,..feelings,....it's all about elly fel dema3'......!!!!
& even if we'll call it tafri3' 3'adab ,...so what?!,..it's the same ,...a complaint that will bother ppl....!!
btw; i was about to delete this entry after writing it coz i felt that i dnt wanna make such pointless entries of complaints anymore......!!!!
but dunno i left it.....!!
as for the Q's ,...i may have asked myself some of them b4 & i even dnt have clear answers for some ,.......but mayb that's coz i'm in kind of an unbalance state(& even that has no clear meaning).....bas as for the faculty point in specific i dnt have the answer coz i feel en ma3andish el sora el kamla to make sure that i'm ok with it ,....& that is a main point ,....ba3ish 3ala amal en kol sana 7afham el denya mashya ezay bas just bala2y nafsy stuck keda fy system fashel ka2enny bat3arek tool el sana we batla3 el sana elly ba3daha babny 3ala 7otam men gedid.......!!!
3ala fekra ana 7assa en ba2ol ay kalam la2en fy 7aga ana mesh 3arfa a3abar 3anha :S ,..aw ana nafsy mesh fahma :S...... all what i know is that :
-i was not obliged to take any step ...i chose,...& sometimes when i was choosing i had the feeling that sth wrong is gonna happen!!!
-i neither hate nor like what i'm in now,.... ,....though i'm not satisfied enough most of the time....!!!
-i believe that al7amdolelah i have the potential & the ability to achieve much more ,...but sth is missing....!!
-i feel sa3at en rabena rasemly tari2 we me7'tarly 7'er wana mashya fih we mayb i won't realize that ella lama awsal le point mo3ayana.....sa3et-ha mayb i'll look back & know y were all those steps for?!!!!!!!
3ala fekra tany ana mesh 3arfa eih 3elaket el kalam elly fat da be ba3do,....it doesn't reveal anyth clear ^o),...it seems meaningless we motanaked
3'aleban i cant express myself ^o)
sorry for any1 galo shalal :)
mesh 3aref a2ol eh bas mesh ha3raf a2ol 7aga tedef lel mawdo3 ba3d
"even if no1 says it i know that it's bothering for any1 to hear such complains coz after all no1 can understand somebody's else problem when it comes to sth confusing like that related to ideas ,...beliefs ,..feelings,....it's all about elly fel dema3'......!!!!"
ra3`m en el mawdo3 elly etkallemty feh howa 100% elly 7asel ma3aya we 100% ma3a nas keter fy nafs el mo7eet we el magal
bas el zaher enno "it's bothering"
ra3`m enny mesh shayfo keda fa 7`alas
rabbena ye3en el game3 we yewaffa2 el game3 lema yo7eb we yarda
ya rab...!!
aho kan kalam meka3bel tele3 keda we 7'alas :S
we rabena yefregha we yesle7 el e7wal 3an karib abl ma yegraly 7aga zeyada :)
& thx for ur reply,...we en aret aslan el ka3bala dy :D
salam
do u think that u are the only one who had this feelings ?
the only one who didn't learn anything in 3.5 years ?
i think all of us had the same feelings , but maybe u are the only one who express them in this way.
recall ur knowledge 3.5 years ago , when you solved the integration x.dx in the final exams of sanaweya , and when u entered this faculty knowing nothing about what is called exponential function !!!
U may think that this stupid stuff won't help in working after graduation , i felt this when i talked to some1 -he is only 23 years old- working in a good company , and he was explaining some of what he does in real life.
I hardly could understand a word :S
I asked him " is this normal ? did you learn all those things through your 5-years study in ASU ?" the answer was NO , but it helped.
Even the Microwaves - he mentioned it literally as he had freakin nightmares while he studying it too - it helped me to work under stress , trying to reach solutions in every possible way knowing that it may have NO solution. I didn't get any useful information during studying this subject and even i don't think that i will need any.
- ya3ni 3ady keda ?
- ahy madda w hat3addy :D w koloko hatenga7o mesh fahmeen 7aga , e7na kona keda bardo , bas ba3d el sho3'l beteb2a kwyes .
-Ahmed Adel , Communication 2007
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