Define:"Motadayen"..!

I guess we've all been in a situation where u describe some1 as "Motadayen" or find some1 introduced to u as "Motadayen"...!!

actually sometimes i used to use the word,..till i felt that it's a flexible word used by each one according to his perception,..so i began to ask myself what is the definition of "Motadayen".. ?!



Ok,..1st let me mention that i'm really obsessed by definitions, dependencies,variables & constants in analysis,..judgements,..decision making...etc

so asking myself about the definition of "Motadayen" is a part of making sure that i'm using the right word in the right place , & it's also a way to make sure that i dnt miscommunicate with others when we mention the word "Motadayen"...!!



According to my observations i felt that most of the ppl tend to describe some1 as "Motadayen" for his image plus the apparent "3ebadat",....for example;
having a beard
wearing hejab or even having a certain style in clothes
saying "Jazakomo Allaho 7'ayran" instead of thanx or merci
avoiding music
fasting "al nawafel"
writing religion-related blogs or even copying them
carry a "Mos7af" all the time
using verses from Quran as signatures,status,personal msg's,..etc
attending periodic lectures for a certain she7' in a mosque or sth
talking with ppl alot about religious issues
forwarding religious e-mails
........etc

so those were examples of things that ring the bell of "Tadayon" for many ppl,...even they dnt know the person ,..they just look make the conclusion & label him as "Motadayen" & begin to deal with him from this POV..!!

actually i dnt have a problem with anyth i mentioned above,..on the contrary i appreciate all that & i know how valuable they r for the person,...but still can't make them criteria for favoring some ppl & categorize them as "Motadayenen" ...coz after all this is just one dimension of the human life ,...we cant forget the unapparent "3ebadat",..the human relations ,...the manners,..& b4 anyth the INTENTION behind any action,...all that complete the image & make the judgement closer to the truth...!!

so b4 any1-who doesnt know me-thinks that i'm messing up & that i have problems or complications like some ppl do when it comes to religious issues,...Al7amdulelah i'm not,...!!!
i'm just trying to understand the usage of a word with no specific definition for most of the ppl,...& i bet that if i ask a random sample of ppl about the word,...they'll give totally different answers or even wont b able to give a justified explanation....!!!


let me add another point that makes me uncomfortable with using this word. If we assume that ppl judge a person & call him "Motadayen" based on religion related behavior (3ebadat,clothes,words,..etc)...is it their right to judge & categorize ppl?...!!!
aint it just Allah who can judge ppl & categorize them (فلا تزكوا انفسكم هو اعلم بمن اتقى),..accept or turn their actions (إنما يتقبل الله من المتقين),...knows their intentions & what's really in their hearts...(ربكم أعلم بما في نفوسكم إن تكونوا صالحين فإنه كان للأوابين غفورا),...aint it all out of the human being scope.....?!

i can't get why ppl insist on giving each other vague descriptions like "Motadayen" or "Moltazem"-which is the higher version i guess- & i dont wanna go through it coz i'm not that aware of the rating system used in such cases....& i dnt know when exactly the person get promoted from level to another & who decides this?!!!!


I know all what i say may not make sense for u & u may consider it exaggeration,...but i really think about this issue alot,...so i thought about sharing mayb some1 can shed some light on sides i cant figure out...!!!

& after all i believe that Allah gave us all the best rank ever coz we r "Muslims" :)

A7'er El 3an2od..!

"Sometimes we believe that sticking to our friends equals supporting them in any decision they do.. But that is only possible when there's no hope at all in fixing things.. What if there was ? And your friend would, sink down in life and gloominess when he's got a great shot in being someone a lot better ?

Then fight them back, and make their path down clear, and their path up as clear. So they see what you want them to fight for..

And that was the learned lesson from the last episode.. Do not let your dear ones, just go down with the flow."

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this was a quote from a friend's thought,...actually i read this thought more than once , stopped @ some phrases each time & surprisingly it turned out that the same bell rang for both of us when we read it...!!!

mayb she was talking about a certain situation,..but for me the "dear ones" mainly include my family & the very few ppl who could approach the level of sisters & brothers like u,...!!!

i was-& still-a big looser in making strong friendships ,....& i am satisfied with that coz one cant take evth in life & i got adapted to that in a way or another,....but in a couple of years i could gain very very few good relations-or that's how i personally feel from my side-with ppl i appreciate ,.... one of those is a brotherhood relation which makes me care & worry about some1 more than many ppl i met years ago,...it's u..!!
it may b a temporary thing ,...i have no idea how long it'll last but i'm sure it'll leave a good memory after all..!!

i know that i'm not good @ helping ppl,...neither @ helping myself when it comes to feeling down,depressed , frustrated or any dark feelings,...yeah,i always make trials to support u ,....& i know they mayb meaningless sometimes,....i dunno if u just listen to me coz u dnt wanna tell me how annoying i am...,&i'm not sure if they make any difference for u ,...but i cant help seeing u getting down & say nth,...that's y i always try to fight u back coz i believe u can be some1 alot better...!!

mayb u lose faith in urself sometimes,...but i dont & i wont isA ..!sometimes u say it's over ,..it's your end...i just smile coz i know it's not real,...i know they'r just desperate thoughts in tough moments,..& i know that u won't be broken,...& even when u r about to swear that u r gonna surrender,...i dnt panic coz i believe u wont...!!

i remember one day when u said u'd quit,...i didt push u to stay or blame u for ur thoughts,..coz i knew that u wouldn't quit,..i knew that u would go wander in the streets ,.. think & re-think then come back with ur final decision to stay,....!!

that day i didnt tell u i knew wouldn't quit ,...though i was almost sure,...& even if u decided to quit i would respect ur choice coz i would be sure it was not a childish decision...!!

let me tell u a little secret,...when i told u about the freakin' dream i had , i didnt tell u about a weird thing,...u were really broken in the dream,..i kept asking Why?..,u were about to cry , i shed tears & when i woke up i found tears on my face & on the pillow,...i dnt remember another time when i woke up crying,....so y all that?...simply coz i couldnt c u broken,....i couldnt stand seeing u destroying urself,...i couldnt believe that u surrendered...!!!


so mayb i dnt know all ur problems to judge ,..& mayb i dnt have enough info so i just overload u with my expectations & push u hard sometimes to carry on when u r not able anymore,...!

but actually i dnt wanna know anyth more than what i know which is ; u r able to get over anyth,...u will never surrender,...u have the strength to face ur problems ,..u have ppl who believe in u & pray for u,...u have values to guide u ...& b4 anyth u have Allah's guidance & protection as long as u believe...!!!

so it happnes that u feel so down,...it seems that the world turned its back to u ,..all the doors r locked & there's no way out,...u begin to lose ur strength,...u dnt wanna try anymore ,....u lose belief in urself ,...BUT even at this point i belive in the person i knew,..the real u,..i believe u can find a way out even if it seems impossible,...i believe that u wont fall,...!!


finally,...i know that u won't let ppl who trust u down ,...but even if u r obliged to,...plz dnt lose ur values & dnt let urself down,....coz if u lose urself u'll lose evth.....& i know u wont :)


dunno if this means anyth for u,...but after all years will pass,..each one will go in a way,..only the memories remain,...hopefully we'll look back & smile for good memories even in the toughest moments ever....!!

God bless u :)