Temporarily Feeling Better...!!

For along time i haven't had a week where i felt better like this week,.....it's the midterms' week....!!!

but no,....i don't feel better coz i like exams or coz i did well in them,....as usual my performance in exams is not good anymore,.....& it became of my expectations,......!!!

but what makes me feel better is that i have a break from the daily routine of the boring faculty days <-<,.....from the suffocating atmosphere i live in since the beginning of this year<-<,....it's just coz i don't spend alot of time among those ppl who r just "mostafezeen" with their attitude,.....those Dr's & TA's whom i can't stand anymore :@....!!

in fact i have a kind of turnover over this year,..it reminds me of stories i've been told about my childhood when i was in KG & days came when i just woke up crying & saying "i dont wanna go,..i dont wanna go" with no significant reason as i was an ideal kid in the school & they rarely complained of me there ,.....but dunno mayb it was like nowadays when i wake up feeling bad & reluctantly go to the faculty to sit(or even sleep<-<) in those boring useless oxygenless lectures..... looking in my watch each 5 mins to wonder y time doesn't pass ...& y i have this feeling of suffocation filling me......!!!

& simply 2day in the faculty or years ago in KG it must b sth psychological & may b undefined....or defined....!

so,..it seems crazy to feel better in the exams period ,...but that's how i explain feeling better ,...& unfortunately i know this state is gonna vanish after 3 days or so when i come back to run in those daily boring continuous circles & loops ...!!

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Aside

Dedication To 3abeer:) 'my dear Palestinian friend'

فى القدس

(the audience sound is bothering but this is the available version & i know u like it ,.....hope everything turns better for u soon ISA )

LYRICS

The Game Of Democracy....!

Why can't ppl in some counties practice skating?!.....coz of the environment....!!

Why don't ppl in some countries know or play rugby?!....coz they didn't watch it b4,didn't try it or even knew its rules.....!!

Similarly why don't some ppl play democracy,....simply coz they neither have the suitable cultural environment nor know the rules of democracy as they have never lived it.....!!!

So if we consider democracy a game ,....we can say that some ppl can play it & others dnt,.....but after all it's to b learnt & played under some conditions.....!!!


what made me think about this issue was a program on Al Arabeya channel about elections in an Asian primary school(mayb Japan or China) ,.....actually i watched part of it but it was interesting to c how 10-year-old kids played the game of democracy their way ,......how they prepared their campaigns,...chose their teams,.....gather info about other candidates,....made lists of their competitors defects to scandalize them ,....made promotion (or kinda bribe) to attract more voters,.....made frequent statistics for the votes they may have,.....stood in debates to attack each other & answer voters Qs to win more votes,.... etc.

& for sure all that was full of childish funny issues,...as in attacking one of the candidates by saying that he eats slowly ,beating another kid ,..lying....etc

also in the kind of promotion which was a trip for all the kids in the TGV offered by a candidate's father who was a police man or sth (notice the role of authority even in the world of kids ;;).......& so on

& after all the nature of kids dominated ,....but grown ups (parents & students) supported ,...motivated & pushed them to carry on & take the way to the end,......they also made the voters feel how valuable their voices were,......& finally they ensured transparency in elections :D as the kids themselves counted the votes to announce the president of the class ....!!


that was an interesting program,....& it shows why can some ppl learn how to play the game of democracy since childhood,......why some ppl grow up knowing the rule of the game ,....practicing it ,....believing in its value ,....& getting as much benefit as possible from it even in their daily lives ......!!!


but the Q here,...is it impossible for hot countries to try skating on ice?
or can a non american person play rugby?!

the answer is NO,...it's not impossible,.....coz if the environment is converted (even partially) so the circumstances are suitable & if ppl r taught the rules of a foreign game , understand & practice it ,...they will have the chance to to play those new games......& surely there are many things to push them towards a rapid progress in learning like leaving the sense of superiority & individuality aside -to a point- & believing in the game's effect on their lives.....!!!


i know it's not a simple issues,...but let's say that i'm just discussing a general idea about democracy in different levels,.....i.e: not necessarily in political life,....coz it's a game to b played in everyday life & just those who practice it in simple issues can play it as professionals in politics or that kind of crucial issues in life,........i also know that it's not always that great,...illegal acts & corruption sometimes take place,......yeah,..it's true,....but it's not a defect in the game ,....it's a defect in the players ethics & it happens everywhere......but after all it's not a reason to delete the whole game !!


so mayb i feel that it's hopeless here ,.....coz almost nth of the factors is available ,....but talking generally ; many ppl & countries could make it & reach maturity in a short period,....to play the game of democracy professionally .......!!!

The Broken Smile...!

More than 2 years ago before 1st electrical i bought that clipboard,.....i used it all the time in & out the faculty.....it was a freaking one,....coz the clip was a smily face,... it has smiley faces everywhere ,...so sometimes i got angry @ it coz it always smiled even if it's a bad time for me,...& here i took a pencil & drew a reverse smile -i.e :( - on its mouth ....!!

last year a small part of it was broken,...it was from the parts supporting the clip ,...but it survived & i could use it despite what happened,.....!!!

few days ago,....the other part supporting it was broken,....& the clipboard's life ended :(........
,.....if it was a human i would say that it may b a kind of objection or sth,......but i liked it even if i tortured it!!

after all it's gone & the smile was broken....!!!!!!!!!

The Crescent...!!

more than a month ago i was talking with sb & she told me:

"look,....u may not c the light,....not even a ray ,...it may b completely dark,....but believe that the light is there somewhere even if u can't feel it"

regardless of how much i stick to this belief ,....i just remembered some parts of this poem....!!

أنا الاحتمالْ

أنا الزَّعمُ أن اللإضاءةَ في الليلِ ممكنةٌ دونَ أن تظلمَ النارُ زيتاً

ودونَ افتخارِ الدُّخَانِ بلا وَجْهِ حَقٍّ على العالمينْ



أنا الليلُ حينَ يخالفُ فِطْرَتَهُ ويُضِيءُ

أنا الاحتمالُ الضئيلْ

أقولُ لكم إنَّ شمساً، وإن فارَقَتْ، ما تَزَالُ هُنا

في زوايا السماءِ

ووجهيِ عليها الدَّليلْ

أنا الاحتمالُ الخفيفُ الثقيلْ

أنا كُلَّما أضَعَفَ الله ضوئي طالَبْتُكم أن تَرَوْنِيَ أكثَرَ

هاتوا مناظيرَكُم واستعِدُّوا

أنا الأَمَلُ المستَغِلُّ الذي دائماً يطلبُ المستحيلْ



يُوقِنُ الراصدونَ بأن لا صَبَاحَ سَيَطْلُعُ مِنِّي

لأني ضعيفٌ نحيفٌ هزيلْ

ويأتونكم بالبراهينِ، هذا هُوَ العِلْمُ

إن الأَهِلَّةَ أَبْخَلُ من أن تَجُودَ عليكم بنورٍ

وإن الأَهِلَّةّ محضُ صخورٍ

ويأتونكم بالبراهينِ

وعدُ الهلالِ لكم بالضياءِ ضلالْ

ويقولون إذ يُمْعِنُ الليلُ في نَفْسِهِ

وأكادُ أغيبُ

انظروا، إنه سوف يَتْرُكُكُمْ للظلام،

ويَنْتَحِلُونَ لِيَ العُذْرَ،

إن الظَّلامَ كَثِيرٌ

وإن الهلالَ قليلْ

ولكنَّهُم يُذْهَلُونَ إذا ما أَطَلَّ عليكم بِوَجْهِي صباحٌ جديدْ

لم أَغِبْ، كنتُ أحضِرُه من مَكَامِنِهِ،

أَيْ نَعَمْ، مِتُّ حتى أتيتُ بِهِ

فأنا الميِّتُ الحيُّ فيهِ

اْذكروني اْذكروني إذا جاء صبحٌ

ففي كلِّ صبحٍ هلالٌ شهيد

تميم البرغوثى
مقام عراق