Regret..!

one of the confusing questions that always comes to my mind & keep bothering me sometimes ...!!
Is REGRET a human right?...& i mean to regret an action or a decision without being ungrateful to Allah & without being overwhelmed by the severe feeling of guilt?!

coz whenever sb complains about sth & say that he regrets a certain decision almost ev1 blames him for thinking that way & just say "that's how Allah plans our lives ,..& mayb it's good for u ,..so dnt regret coz u r unthankful that way....."...or they say "didn't u pray "esti7'ara"?....then believe that whatever path u've taken ,..it's the best inshaAllah"....etc.

surely i totally agree with all that,..& i do believe in it ...so where's the problem?!!!!
the problem that i agree to a certain point,....but i keep thinking about some confusing points...!!

Allah gives the human the freedom to choose in certain points in life ,...so the person is responsible for his actions & there's a chance to make wrong decisions ,...& that's y there's the accountability issue or the (Thawab & 3ekab),... & as for the "esti7'ara" issue ,..i'm not sure but i guess it's not a compass or a 100% indication coz still the human mind & some other factors may dominate & direct the person,... so i believe we can't just consider it a thing to hang every decision or action on it ...!!

so thinking that way make me reach the conclusion that :
if the person has the chance to make both right & wrong decision than it's valid to regret his actions & learn from his faults without being ungrateful to Allah....!!
i always try to rethink to find out whether i'm right or wrong.....but after all i keep thinking.....!!

i know it's a complicated issue,..& mayb i couldn't explain it clearly ,...but that's how it goes with thoughts ....!!!

η..!

in any process there's sth called the efficiency ,..it's kind of an indication to the "useful" output coz the output itself is meaningless if not looked at as a combination of useful & useless components,...this useless component is the dissipated part & consequently is valueless ...!!

so why am saying all that now?!!,...coz it's applicable to some point on evth in life...!!

let me start with an example concerning the educational system coz it's where i'm stuck right now,....& the freakin' exams should have an impact on me one way or another....!!

so here we go......
if i talk about my personal experience i can say that the process we're living in has an extremely low efficiency....& the ones who r managing the system r not aware of that point coz unfortunately they believe in superlatives .
they just keep the hardest way,the longest paths,the most complicated techniques ,the oldest procedures ,.....etc. ,....& they just believe that the hardest,the longest,the most complicated,the oldest ...etc will keep them the BEST....which is not true.....coz all that may dissipate human power -which is the most valuable asset for the person-without getting a considerable "useful" output ....& this is a disaster...!

i know some ppl say that whatever u go through in ur life is useful to a point & even if u dnt learn or get a tangible thing ,..u'll learn persistence ,patience,hard work...bla bla bla......,for me it's as if u turn a device on or whatever continuously just to find out its capacity & know how much it lasts ,..but actually u r just dissipating power in vain...coz it has a another main function u r neglecting...that's exactly how it works with us here or worse !!

so let me ask,...if there's a possibility to learn more (quality not quantity),use the same power in more useful tunings & minimize the dissipation ,..why not?....& who said that we reached the optimum performance with the current system?!,....forget about being the best or the most reputable faculty or university & all those stuff we hear......coz it's not true anymore or let me say it's not sth absolute .....& this sense of superiority makes things worse year after year.....& consequently the overall efficiency is dramatically declining with respect 2 others who may not care about those "superlatives" that much coz they care more about the usefulness of the output ....!!!

mayb it's just an example & mayb some ppl dont agree with me & c that i'm exaggerating ,...but that's how i c things not only in the higher education -i'm involved in-but in many many other things around us ,..the efficiency is usually very low & still most of the ppl look to the absolute output value & feel good about the superlatives which is pointless...coz again & on a larger scale for example :
what's the use of being one of the OLDEST civilizations if we r not keeping the keys of success & using our resources efficiently ? what's the point of having one of the LONGEST rivers if we r wasting & ruining it? what's the use of having the LARGEST plantable lands in the area if we r not using them? or what's the point of having one of the HIGHEST percentages of youth in a country if we r ruining them?!...what's the point of all those ***..EST if they r just dissipated like that ?!

so again,..after all it's not about how much output we get ,...it's about the USEFUL part or the efficiency which should be kept in consideration in each & every process in life....!!

Vitriol...!!!

Veronika Decides To Die
Paulo Coelho
----------------------------------


'You say they create their own reality,' said Veronika, 'but what is reality?'

'It's what the majority deems it to be. It's not necessarily the best or the most logical, but it's the one that has become adapted to the desires of society as a whole. You see this thing i've got round my neck?'

'You mean your tie?'

'Exactly. Your answer is the logical, coherent answer an absolutely normal person would give: it's a tie! A madman, however, would say that what I have round my neck is a ridiculous, useless bit of coloured cloth tied in a very complicated way, and which makes it harder to get air into your lungs and difficult to turn your neck. I have to be careful when I'm anywhere near a fan, or I could be strangled by this bit of cloth.

If a mad person were to ask me what this tie is for, I would have to say, absolutely nothing. It's not even purely decorative, since nowadays it's become a symbol of slavery, power, aloofness. The only really useful function a tie serves is the sense of relief when you get home and take it off; you feel as if you've freed yourself from something, though quite what you don't know.

'But does that sense of relief justify the existence of ties? No. Nevertheless, if I were to ask a madman and a normal person what this is, the sane person would say: a tie. It doesn't matter who's correct, what matters is who's right.'

Certain people, in their eagerness to construct a world which no external threat can penetrate, build exaggeratedly high defenses against the outside world, against new people, new places, different experiences, and leave their inner world stripped bare. It is there that Bitterness begins its irrevocable work.

The will was the main target of Bitterness (or Vitriol, as Dr. Igor preferred to call it). The people attacked by this malaise began to lose all desire, and within a few years, they became unable to leave their world, where they had spent enormous reserves of energy constructing high walls in order to make reality what they wanted it to be.

In order to avoid external attack, they had also deliberately limited internal growth, they continued going to work, watching television, having children, complaining about the traffic, but these things happened automatically, unaccompanied by any particular emotion, because, after all, everything was under control.

The great problem with poisoning by Bitterness was that the passions -- hatred, love, despair, enthusiasm, curiosity -- also ceased to manifest themselves. After a while, the embittered person felt no desire at all. They lacked the will either to live or to die, that was the problem.

That is why embittered people find heroes and madmen a perennial source of fascination, for they have no fear of life or death. Both heroes and madmen are indifferent to danger and will forge ahead regardless of what other people say. The madman committed suicide, the hero offered himself up to martyrdom in the name of a cause, but both would die, and the embittered would spend many nights and days remarking on the absurdity and the glory of both. It was the only moment when the embittered person had the energy to clamber up his defensive walls and peer over at the world outside, but then his hands and feet would grow tired and he would return to daily life.

Sha7'abeet (4)...!

Wednesday 21/5/2008

around 11:00 am
Hall 702
(Exam Q paper ; after running out of writable info :s....[insanity ^o)])

-------------------------------------------------------

sha7'abeet(1)...!!

sha7'abeet(2)...!!!

sha7'abeet(3)...!!!

It's Gonna Be.......!

how do most of the ppl feel on seeing kids ?... hope,cheerfulness,innocence...etc.

but dunno why do i just feel sorrow & sympathy towards them-lately- ,....sometimes i just look at kids & imagine what's waiting for them in this world,..the hard shocks they'll get ,...the awful facts they'll discover,...the daily struggles they'll get through...the country failure on all levels they'll c...!!

i know it's life & that's how things work,...& to grow up ppl should go through all that ,..experience ups & downs,..know the facts & struggle each & every moment. BUT i'm not talking about the normal issues ,..it's not my concern,....i just mean the awful circumstances in Egypt.... & that's y i do feel sympathy towards the Egyptian kids in specific.

i look to the rate of decline in evth here & wonder: what if the rate remains the same for the coming year? ...& i just find myself saying OMG ,...it's gonna be a catastrophe....!!!

how on earth will those kids learn in such an educational system ?!! ...how will they withstand the world challenges in a country that goes backward?...will they find medical care?....will they know the meaning of the word "justice" ? will they have an idea about "ethics"?...will they join the expected extra millions of poor ppl by 2020 ?!....will they have to buy their dignity?...will they?....will they?

mayb when we were kids evth wasn't perfect,... & i know we r living in similar circumstances now,....& we r already suffering from most of that ,....but we've got the shock & got into reality ,...so i just sympathize with those kids who r gonna leave their world to the real world sooner or later.....!!

i know i'll hear sb saying: "that's our role to fix things & make those kids suffer less...bla bla bla".....theoretically it's true,..but practically it's not that easy coz it's not only about us ,...it's about a country which needs a real reform ,...& real revolution in evth ,it's a complicated issue ....& if it was just that easy ,..y r we still here? & y r we going worse?!.....

it may seem pessimism ,...but as i always say it's the reality that ppl don't want to c & they may hate my words coz they live in this denial state ,...but i always c the future as a result of the past & the present ,...so it's somehow predictable unless sth extraordinary happens ,.....so according to what's happening 2day ,..the near future is gonna be .........(fill in spaces)

so ,..yeah it's the only option to try to fix things & make'm better,..it's our duty & mission on earth ,... but still i can't help that feeling of sorrow when i look to evth going around ...!!

so all we can do is work & hope for the better in a way or another...& we'll c!

60+N...!

How many N left....?!



"هاهم أمامك متن نص أنت حاشية عليه و هامش"

Wallpapers..!

Designed by me around five months ago..(almost exams' time :D)!

Please Do Not Read...!

I don't read "A7'bar El Youm",...& i guess i've never read for Momtaz el Ott,.....but i've just heared about this shocking article,...which i can't call an article in the 1st place,....it's either a joke or nightmare,..no it's a catastrophic sarcastic undefined thing ,...so if u r not strong enough to withstand it plz dnt read ...!!

'ياريس كل سنة وانت طيب وربنا يخليك لينا'..
كل سنة ومصر تعيش معك أغلي وأعز أيامها.. سنوات مرت وكأنها حلم جميل داعبنا، وجعلنا نبتسم لكل أيامنا.
في عيد ميلادك ياريس ندعو الله لك بالعمر المديد، لكي تحقق لنا المزيد والمزيد.. فنحن سيدي الرئيس قدرك، وانت قدرنا. لمن غيرك نشكو؟! من مين غيرك نطلب!! لمن غيرك نروي احلامنا وآمالنا في مستقبل نملك فيه القدرة علي ان نحقق طموحاتنا، ونترك لاولادنا وأحفادنا وطنا عزيزا وقادرا علي ان يحقق لنا كل ما نتمناه.

بصراحة.. إحنا بنحبك لأنك إنسان أصيل.. بتعرف تحافظ علي كرامة وكبرياء بلدك وشعبك.. بتعرف تقرأ المستقبل صح ياريس.. وفي كل حاجة.. بره وجوه.

بنحبك.. لأنك مابتعملش حاجة إلا بعد ماتحسبها صح.. ويكون قرارك في الصميم.. بنحبك لان تاريخك كله نظيف.
تاريخ بطل.. كان يكفيه من كل الدنيا وسام الانتصار في حرب أكتوبر. الوسام الذي وضعه شعب مصر كله علي صدرك داخل مجلس الشعب تقديرا لبطولاتك ودورك الذي فتح أبواب أعظم انتصاراتنا.

دايما ياريس، القرار الغلط في أي مجال يكون له تأثيرات سلبية، بتختلف من مكان لمكان.. ولكن في الطيران القرار الغلط يعني الموت.. من هنا دايما بيكون فيه تقدير وحسابات كاملة قبل أي قرار.

طول ما إحنا معاك ياريس حسينا بالحكاية دي.. مفيش انفعال ولاغضب.. أي حاجة دايما تسبقها دراسة كاملة.. كتير قوي ياريس مواقف مرت علينا وعلي بلدنا.. تحديات كتيرة لا لها أول ولا لها آخر.. لكنك ياريس عدتها كلها بسلام.. بحنكة ومهارة وتفكير.. كانت دايما ياريس مصر معاك.. في قلبك وعقلك والعدو والحبيب دايما بيحسب لبلدنا معاك ألف حساب.
بنحبك ياريس.. لأن سمعة مصر معاك أصبحت زي البرلنت.. وبيحسدونا عليك.. لأنك مننا.. دايما ياريس كنت معانا.

ساعات كتيرة كنا بنكلم نفسنا.. بنقول ياتري الريس حاسس بينا.. ياتري الريس حاسس بمشاكلنا وهمومنا.. وفي كل مرة ياريس نكتشف الحقيقة إنك معانا.. أنت جزء مننا وإحنا جزء منك.. بتتكلم زينا.. وحاسس بالظروف الصعبة اللي إحنا عشناها.
وبصراحة ياريس.. إحنا نسينا أيام زمان.. إحنا ادلعنا ياريس في عهدك.. ونسينا كل حاجة وحشة.. نسينا زمن الاشتراكية اللي ضحكوا بيها علينا لاننا اكتشفنا إننا بنعيش في وهم جميل صحينا منه يوم 5 يونيه.

نسينا زمن تليفون العمدة وبقينا دلوقتي محتارين.. نركب 012 ولا 010 ولا 011 ولا أرضي.
نسينا القطارات ماركة اللي يحب النبي يزق!! نسينا زمن كل حاجة بالبطاقة من قطن العرايس لحد قماش التيل والبفتة والدبلان.. نسينا زمن المجاري اللي طافحة وطلمبات الميه البحاري ووضع النواية جوه الزير.. نسينا ياريس زمن زوار الفجر وزوار الصبح والظهر والعشا.. نسينا اللهو الخفي ونسينا نشوف النجوم في عز الظهر.

دلوقتي كله بيتكلم.. مفيش حد خايف.. شلت الخوف من قلوبنا يا ريس ودي نعمة إحنا مكناش حاسين بيها.. دلوقتي ممكن أي واحد ينتقد رئيس الجمهورية والحكومة وكل حاجة!! ساعات بنزودها حبتين!! لكن جوانا شعور إننا مش خايفين.. عارفين إن فيه كبير في البلد.. بيحبنا وبنحبه.. عايش في قلوبنا وقريب دايما مننا.

بنحبك ياريس لأنك مننا.. انت الرئيس الذي لا يتحدث بلغتين.. اللي بتقوله في الغرف المغلقة هو اللي بتقوله في العلن.. ودايما آراءك وأفكارك سباقة والعالم كله يا ريس آد أيه بيحترمك ويقدرك.. طولة بالك وسعة صدرك ياريس وحبك لينا.. خلانا نطمع أكتر واكتر ياريس.

في عيد ميلادك الناس.. اهلك... وشعبك... كل اللي بيحبوك المفروض يقدموا لك ورود الدنيا كلها.. لكنك ياريس كنت سباق بالخير.. طول عمرك سباق بالخير.. العلاوة ياريس كانت مفاجأة.. كانت عبور بالموظفين الغلابة من الدوامة اللي عايشينها ليل نهار.. الناس كلها دعت لك ياريس بالصحة والسعادة.. حسوا ساعتها انك جزء منهم وانت بتطالب الحكومة إنها تدبر الموارد عشان العلاوة لأن الناس مش ناقصه.!!

الناس ياريس كلها بتقولك في عيد ميلادك كتر خيرك.. وربنا يديك الصحة.. والسنة الجاية برضه هنقولك عايزين علاوة ياريس.. 'علاوة ريس'.. له في قلب كل مصري حب ما يتقدرش بأموال الدنيا كلها.
كل سنة ومصر معاك بخير ياريس ونفضل دايما نقولك عايزين وعايزين.. والسنة الجاية مش مهم العلاوة تبقي 30 % خليها 25 % بس!! إحنا مش طماعين!!
كل سنة وأنت بكل خير ياريس.

N.B:
I was trying to highlight the weird parts,...then i remembered that i made this post in the 1st place coz the whole thing is weird....& consequently i'm not gonna comment now!!

Failure for Dummies..!

i was thinking what can egypt teach the world,... what unique experience can the government transfer to the other countries ? & what significant thing can the responsible or even the normal ppl write about ?!

i found out that in the last decades egypt succeeded to fail , the different successive regimes,few as they are, could set new standards for failure on different levels ,....so it came up to my mind that the special thing egypt can teach others is the failure techniques . it can be in a simple book to gather the deep experience in this field .

The book can be entitled "How to become a LOOSER in 21 days?",..."The 7000 habits of highly effective LOSERS"...or it can be "FAILURE for Dummies" as the famous for Dummies series...!!

The book can include the different types of failure,...starting from the individual failure to the nation failure,....& that's y many ppl can contribute in this book starting from the normal citizen to the highest authority in egypt,.....each one can add sth after all ,....coz ppl either experienced special sorts of failure or contributed in creating new techniques ....!!

to b clear i'm not talking about the normal failure evbody around the world go through ,....coz it's not always bad after all,...& ups & downs are the essence of life ,.....i'm just talking about a special kind of failure ,....the failure that brings evth down all the time,....the failure that has no reason,...the repeated failure that comes time after time in the same way or even worse,....the failure that is destructive enough to get into the souls of a whole nation,...steal their smiles & kill their hopes ...............this is the failure i'm talking about...!!

Toshka project was a failure, Mondial zero was a failure...intensive corruption is a failure,...governmental organizations systems r failure,.... education process is a failure,....political system is a failure ,.....those r some examples of the destructive failure which get worse evday...!

so mayb it's time to write the book ,.....& mayb it seems a joke,...but it can b true....not to teach others the techniques of failure,...but to document the worst experience to learn from it later on,....to think deeply about the reasons of failure & be aware not to repeat it..... !!!

that's what turn failure in to success ,...only whan ppl get out of the denial state , admit their failure & work to avoid it later on....!!

Happened In Al Amereya..!

Nasir Shamma who witnessed Al Amereya massacre ,in Iraq, expressing it on his Oud...!

In Love With Books ...!

Born in a home where books were evwhere around ,...i had that special relation with'm b4 i can even read.....we had that big library , i saw it big as a kid :D, containing books ,dictionaries,encyclopaedia's & others in various languages (arabic,english,french,russian,persian....)& in totally different fields (starting by politics,economy,military,science,languages,history....& ending by cook books :D)......!!

being a kid i had nth to do with it ,...but as times passed i began to open it & check the books out ,....& guess what?!!... till now i may find out a new book that was stuck here or there on the upper shelf or sth ,...!!
it happened a couple of weeks ago ,..i saw a book that i've never seen b4 ,...& as it was in the middle shelf i wondered how i didn'ti noticed it b4 ^o),....weird,....i felt as if the books r reproducing there :D...!!


that was the initial library in home,..my father's one,.....but as my parents began to buy us books since the first years in our lives books began to accumulate in home & they became official members in our family ,....!!
i dnt remember exactly when i began to read alone,..but i guess i began earlier than many kids do ,..mayb coz i was sharing my elder sister or coz that passion was growing up since day 1,...dunno,....i read short stories,...prophet's stories,...etc...... i remember that i read relatively long stories in primary stage,....mayb on 4th or 5th i began to read famous novels as "around the world in eighty days",..."journey to the center of the earth",..& stuff like this,........in 1st preparatory we moved to another apartment taking the books with us,...we made 2 extra small libraries to put the books that multiplied in the previous years,.....& here i began to look through the books again & try diff. kinds,....in preparatory i began to read famous arabic literature ,....i guess my first one was "Al Ayam" ,...i do remember :D ,......!!

then after a while i decided to seek diversification ,.....i mean to read anyth coz i believed that whatever we read will add sth to me even if it's tiny.....i remember reading a book about (GATT) in preparatory phase or sth ,....i guess i didn't remember most of its details after finishing it ;; ,...but it was ok after all :D
& since then i tried to read diff kinds of books,....& sometimes i found myself interested in a certain type for a while ,..then another one,..etc.


mayb sometimes in secondary phase or the beginning of the faculty phase i was busy,...or couldn't manage time properly when i study ,...so i didn't have the time to read as much as i wish & found myself afraid to start a book & not have a time to finish it quickly,....coz actually i dnt like to read a single book in along time ,.....!!

but lately i decided to find time in a way or a another coz that's sth i love ,..sth that cheers me up ,...sth that adds new dimensions to my life ,...sth that offers me a special companion when i get fed up with ppl ,....so i have to find an hour here & another there & read to nourish my mind & soul ....!!



i do c real book worms ...& i know i'm not a real one,...or mayb a tiny one :D....,.....but mayb coz i dnt always have the time & coz i do have other priorities in life ,....mayb that's y i'm a tiny one :D,....but i also know that the more i grow up ,..the stronger the connection between me & books gets ,..... the more i get happy & sad @ the same time when i go to somewhere full of books coz i love them but dnt have the time or the money for them all :D,...& most important the more my reading passion grows....!!


i guess i went far in all those scattered thoughts about books & reading ^o),...& mayb whoever reads that will get bored or won't b able to make find the connection in it,..but after all they're just my thoughts & they came to my mind....!!!!
so after all i just pray for Allah to give me the time & the passion to read till the end of my life :)

Destiny (2)..!

In the last entry i was talking about "The Alchemist",...or actually i just wrote some quotes or paragraphs i was sent b4 i read the whole novel ,..& as it was long i decided to comment in another entry,...so here we go...!


firstly when i read this part of the novel i felt as if it touched sth in my mind ,....mayb a couple of years ago i would've just said ...what a silly novel or what the hell is he talking about?!....but being in certain state of mind made me astonished by this part ,...dunno y,..but mayb coz i felt how true it can b,....or mayb coz i felt better to find out that it's sth common & not just a kind of insanity to keep thinking about futuer,.... choices,...available paths,....opportunities,...threats .....simply thinking about Destiny as he calls it all the time ....!!


i guess what i'm talking about is clear for whoever read the novel,.....but let's dig deeper in the issue....!!


the novel mainly talks about that shepherd who had a dream about a treasure in the pyramids area,....& to follow his dream he had to travel from Europe to egypt in a time when transportations was not that easy ,.....he me different ppl,..he money was stolen which stopped him & made him about to give up,....but through meeting some wise ppl & getting involved in various situations,...he could carry on & reach the pyramids after around 2 years,......& there he didn't find any treasure ,..instead he found a man who told him that he was idiot coz he followed his dream as that man had a similar dream about a treasure in the town the boy came from,...& he thought he was wise enough not to follow a silly dream....!!
so after all the boys went back to this town ,..dug & found out the treasure...!!


surely it's not the whole novel,..it's just my approach to summerize an important point i wanted to stress on......& mayb the novelist goes far sometimes in a fantasy or a fairytale way ,...but overall u can feel the words of wisdom & the philosophical approach of life in most of the situations in the novel....!!


& if we look deeper in the treasure issue we can c that the treasure was the destiny he was following ,....it was vague,..he didn't even know what exactly was looking for....he just knew that he was in his way to sth valuable & he had to work for it even if he didn't know it coz it worthed all the effort & the time he had to spent,.....& that was his motive ,....& whenever he was about to get satisfied & stop following his destiny he met some1 who reminded him of how important his journey was ,... how important to follow the omens in the universe ,..carry on till the end & never stop ,...& he did despite all the difficulties & threats he met on his way.....!


surely there came times when he felt that evth happening was a kind of a curse & couldn't find an explanation for anyth ,...but at the end and after he finished his journey & got the treasure he found out that the real treasure was the experience he lived & the ppl he met in those couple of years ,...he found out that he gained alot,..much more than a tangible treasure ,...& he found out that he would've lost alot if he didn't follow his dream as the man he met at the pyramids ,.....!!

he actually made sure of what the author says that " Life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny"....!!


mayb the part of realizing all that came at the end of the boy's journey in the last page in the novel & wasn't that detailed ,...& that's how i felt life works ,.....we may live years confused,..feeling sth wrong is going on,..unable to explain whatever happens ,..seeking sth vague ,...feeling bad about being lost in crossroads...........etc.....till a moment comes when evth is revealed & than we can look to the past & know how each single tiny thing happened was arranged by Allah in the best way ever......!!


unfortunately as this comes in the end of the journey ,...we just go in tour lives & forget that ,...but mayb that's y Allah sends messages or ''omens" as the novel says to remind us .....& that happened to me intensively in the previous months through convos with others or a novel or whatever,....& that's y i was touched by the novel although it may seem less than a normal novel for others....!!!



so here i'm trying to live my days ,..follow the omens,..pursue my destiny,....hoping that life will b generous to me for seeking it,...& looking forward for the day when i'll look back in satisfaction & know y i took certain paths instead of others & after all thank Allah for guiding me & arranging my life the way it was :) .....!!

Destiny..!

Around a month ago i was sent the following part from "The Alchemist" ,...with the red highlights in it,......i've heared about this novel since years but didn't have the chance to read it,....so after reading those quotes & being in a certain state of mind made me borrow it within few days & read it although i was sooo busy ....!!
& as it's kinda long part & i dnt have enough time now to write my comment about this part & the whole novel's idea,...i'll let u read it for now -if u r interested- & i'll comment in the next entery ISA ...!!


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"For several reasons. But let's say that the most important is that you have succeeded in discovering your destiny."
The boy didn't know what a person's "destiny" was.
"It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is.At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny."


None of what the old man was saying made much sense to the boy. But he wanted to know what the "mysterious force" was; the merchant's daughter would be impressed when he told her about that!
"It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your destiny. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth."


"Even when all you want to do is travel? Or marry the daughter of a textile merchant?"
"Yes, or even search for treasure. The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation. All things are one.And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."


They were both silent for a time, observing the plaza and the townspeople. It was the old man who spoke first.
"Why do you tend a flock of sheep?"
"Because I like to travel." The old man pointed to a baker standing in his shop window at one corner of the plaza. "When he was a child, that man wanted to travel, too. But he decided first to buy his bakery and put some money aside. When he's an old man, he's going to spend a month in Africa. He never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."


"He should have decided to become a shepherd," the boy said.
"Well, he thought about that," the old man said. "But bakers are more important people than shepherds. Bakers have homes, while shepherds sleep out in the open. Parents would rather see their children marry bakers than shepherds."


The boy felt a pang in his heart, thinking about the merchant's daughter. There was surely a baker in her town.

The old man continued, "In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them than their own destinies."
The old man leafed through the book, and fell to reading a page he came to. The boy waited, and then interrupted the old man just as he himself had been interrupted. "Why are you telling me all this?"
"Because you are trying to realize your destiny. And you are at the point where you're about to give it all up."
"And that's when you always appear on the scene?"
"Not always in this way, but I always appear in one form or another. Sometimes I appear in the form of a solution, or a good idea. At other times, at a crucial moment, I make it easier for things to happen. There are other things I do, too, but most of the time people don't realize I've done them."

Dystopia..!

One day i was asked by some1 who travelled a couple of years ago abroad to work for PHD ,..."How is Egypt?!",...

i answered "u just can predict how's everything going on if u look to the past & the present ,...they r the real indication for the near future ,...just look carefully to the trend & u can feel what's happening without seeing it,....!!

" mayb it can b a pessimistic point of view although i call it realistic ,....but we can't ignore the fact that nth comes from nowhere & what happen now is a result for what we lived 2day ,...& consequently what's gonna happen 2morrow is a result for what's happening now to a certain point,......& based on my belief that the net motion in our society is negative i can say that i have concerns about the future....!!

surely what reminded me of all that is Dr.Ahmed Khaled Tawfik's latest novel "UTOPIA" which i read a couple of days ago ,...it belongs to the Dystopia trend (the vision of a society that is opposite to utopia).......he's kind of imagining the worst case scenario for egypt in specific if the same conditions remains with some changes in the whole world ,....(around 15 years from now...)!!

the novel goes through the lives of the rich who get richer & the poor who get poorer showing the opposites,...& showing how evth is ruined ,...ethics ,..humanity,...etc,..... how the ppl on both sides lost their humanity & turned into horrible creatures worse than animals ,.....& how few of them struggle to keep part of their humanity ,....!!!

it may seem a kind of a shock,...& some readers may feel that it's a fantasy ,...but i c it a bell to make ppl wake up b4 everything is destroyed,.....& who know mayb one day ppl will remember this novel as an old true predictions & if that happens i wish to b out of this life not to c that coming true ....!!!

after all whatever our POV's in the dystopia issue r ,....it's a novel that worths reading ....!!

هذيان..!!ا

اللاشئ

يوم جديد تطل على استحياء شمسه معلنة قدومه .... محملة بهموم لم أعد أدرى ما هى أحاول أن أنهض لأستقبله...يمنعنى شئ ما من النهوض...أقاوم ذاك الشئ أو" اللا شئ "و انفصل عن السرير اللعين الذى ألتصق به لساعات دون أن يراودنى حلما أو حتى كابوسا...فقط يراودنى "اللا شئ"....أغادره أخيرا بخطوات ثقيلة و كأن مغناطيسا ضخما يجذبنى الى الوراء...أمسك بالجريدة لأتفقد أحوال الطقس....تقول الجريدة أنه يوم مشمس ...و لكن حدسى يخبرنى أنه يوم ملبد بالغيوم....أنظر من النافذة... أرى بالفعل سماء مظلمة ملبدة بالغيوم....لا أعلم اأخطأت النشرة الجوية ...أم أن تلك الظلمة هى الظلمة بداخلى قد فاضت حتى اجتاحت الكون و صبغته بذلك اللون الكئيب ....أم أنه "اللا شئ"...؟!ا

أرتدى ملابسى...أحتسى "اللا شئ"...أنطلق الى حال سبيى و أنا لا زلت ما بين النوم و اليقظة...تلك الحالة التى تنتابنى لساعات قبل أن تتم يقظتى حتى أن الرائى ليسألنى ما بك....فأجيب "لا شئ"....!!ا

أرى فى ذاك الصباح الباكر من يمسحون قطرات الندى عن نوافذ سياراتهم...لا أعلم لماذا أشعر فى تلك اللحظة أنهم يمسحون عن وجه الكون دموعا أخذ يذرفها طوال الليل ....و.اتساءل ما الذى قد يبكى الكون هكذا ...تراه "اللا شئ"؟ !!!ا

أمضى فى طريقى....أتفحص أوجه الناس من حولى...يتملكنى شعور بالغضب لا أعلم مصدره...أحاول أن أقاومه....أشعر بنسيم الصباح الرقيق يداعبنى...أعرض عنه و أكاد أقسم أن أصرخ به لو كان بشرا.....أمخر عباب الكتل البشرية المحيطة بى من كل جانب ...أرى أناسا يعرفوننى و أعرفهم ...أمر أمامهم مرورا عابرا دون أن ينبس أحد منا ببنت شفة....لا أعلم هل استحلت شبحا أم هم من صاروا أشباحا ...أم ترانى تحولت الى ذلك "اللا شئ؟!!!...

.أمر على أخرين ...هذه المرة يلقون التحية .... أقنع نفسى أن تلك التحية موجهة لى و أننى لست شبحا...أبذل جهدا و أنا أرد التحية كى أرسم على شفتى تلك الابتسامة التى لا تنجح فى خداع الرائى و تخفى ما وراءها من الغيوم القاتمة....أجلس بين الجموع من حولى...أسمع لأصواتهم طنينا كطنين النحل ....أشعر بالانزعاج...يعلو شيئا فشيئا ... يتشابك الصياح مع الضحك مع الشجار ...يعلو الضجيج...تنتابنى تلك الرغبة المجنونة فى الصراخ ...الصراخ فى من حولى...الصراخ فى نفسى...الصراخ فى "اللا شئ"....أعلم أنه الجنون بعينه و لكن تلك الرغبة تنتابنى بشدة منذ زمن بعيد ... أخيرا أطلق صرخة مدوية ....و لكن لا أرى من ينتبه أو يتحرك قيد أنملة.....ترى هل كان صوتى خافتا الى ذلك الحد ....أم أننى لم أطلق تلك الصرخة الا داخلى...و لم تسمع الا داخلى...أم أننى فقط أطلقت "اللا شئ"....؟!!

أتأمل مشهد الغروب المهيب....أرى الشفق يحيط بالشمس التى ترحل كما ولدت فى الصباح على استحياء...و أرى ظهور الهلال الذى يبدو فى تحدبه ككهل حمله الزمان ما أحنى ظهره و قوسه.... أرى أسراب الطيور التى تهرع فى كل الاتجاهات و كأنها تفر من شئ ما....و أرى بقايا من نجوم أشعر و أنا أرى بريقها الخافت أنها تكبدت عناء كبيرا كى تنتصر على ذلك الضباب و تلك الغيوم التى توشح بها الكون...اتأمل و أتألم...لا أدرى هل أتألم لرحيل الشمس و تقوس الهلال و فرار الطيور و طغيان الضباب أم أننى أتألم لأنى استعذب الألم!!...استغرق فى التأمل الى أن أجد من يهمس فى أذنى "كفى"...أتلفت لأعلم من ذا الذى تجرأ ليقطع خلوتى....أتلفت و أنظر فأجد "اللا شئ".....!!!!!

The THING....!!

few days ago i was having a long convo with a friend about different issues , she mentioned John Wood in Never Too Late...! entry & other ppl around us ,..i was posing many Q's which r in my mind lately & she was showing me things from other perspectives....& mayb the following paragraphs may seem a kind of scattered ideas & Q's... !!


we were talking that each1 is created to make & add sth to life somehow & evth happens to him is meant to b in the way to this thing & here came some thoughts & Q's.....


should all the ppl know from the very beginning of their lives the thing they should work for in specific?!! ...should they take the time to find it ?!! or can they find it on their way by accident?!!....can some1 live satisfied for decades thinking he is on the right way while he is not...?!!....can he wake up one day to find another way open & say THAT'S IT ,...that's what i always missed..?!!.....can he break the routine & find the courage to change his way?!! ....can he know in the 1st place that it's really the right way?!!


& can some1 live for years feeling that he cant find the right way....?!! can sb live with the daily feeling of being lost & the continuous worry to remain like that for years or even die without finding the right way ?!!..... should that person wait for sth to pop on his way or should he work & seek the thing he's there for?!!..... should this person take from his energy to seek that unknown thing while others know & just spend the energy to work for a known thing...?! ....can that b -as my friend said- coz this thing or role is so precious that that person has to work to find it first than work for it ?!...or can it b coz the person is a looser?!!.....& what if he is seeking but can't reach anyth..?!!...should he stop , carry on or live coz he just has to live?!! can that be a long way but taking it is a must to learn sth b4 reaching the right thing?!!...


& what if he began to lose special parts of himself in this struggle...?! ...& why should this struggle exists in the 1st place...?!!...& what if all that is in vain coz he's on the right way but he couldn't realize it b4?!!....what if he realizes it too late ..?!!... is it really never too late...?!.........................................................................................................................& much more...!!



those were some odd thoughts but one can never avoid'm when they come to one's mind....!!


& btw i'm not talking about dreams or setting SMART goals in life ,....i'm talking about finding that "THING" or whatever we can call it which the person is created for ,..which make'm say "THAT'S IT" confidently,....the THING that shined in Nepal & made john wood leave microsoft & have the power & the passion to change the world,.... the THING that changed the life of ppl around me upside down ,...the very specific THING that each person is created for....the THING that is unique as a finger print for each & every creature in the universe...!!

it's the THING....!!

:'(

Mesh 3ayza aro7 el madrasa :'(

Never Too Late...!

after previous discussions i remembered the following real story......:)

In 1998, John Wood was a rising executive at Microsoft when he took a vacation that changed his life. What started as a trekking holiday in Nepal became a spiritual journey, and then a mission: to change the world one book and one child at a time by setting up libraries in the developing world. He was soon driven to leave his career with only a loose vision of the change he wanted to bring to the world.

Over the next five years John would make the unlikely marriage between Microsoft business practices and the world of non-profits to create Room to Read, an organization that has created a network of over 4,000 schools and libraries throughout rural and poor communities in Asia, Africa, and soon in Latin America (starting in 2008).

The organization is now one of the fastest growing, most effective, and award-winning non-profits of the last decade. John has been recognized in the worldwide media as a "21st century Andrew Carnegie," building a public library infrastructure to help the developing world break the cycle of poverty through the lifelong gift of education.

the following video is long but has more details & it's really a nice one .....!!!

What on earth do i learn here?!

Being overwhelmed with the feeling of frustration for a long long time i always ask this Q ,..."What on earth do i learn here?!".......& i mean in the educational system i'm stuck in & i find out that i almost don't learn,...or let me say i should have learnt much more in the previous years,...especially in the university phase ,.....i know it may seem a -ve approach,....focusing on problems instead of moving forward.... , or a kind of hanging personal defects on others,....etc. & mayb it can b a part of the problem but still it's not the perfect system ,....& still i dnt feel a real progress.....!!!



sometimes i feel that i lost so much time & energy in useless things ,....i know nth is useless & whatever we get through our lives we benefit from it somehow,......but after all there r priorities & i cant c them in their right order ,.......i spent 3.5 years studying in the faculty ,....but have i learnt what i should've learnt through 3.5 years ?!!,...dnt think so,.....no solid basis,...no real practical knowledge ,....nth except some scattered courses related or unrelated to the final specialization with awful unbearable dr's who just focus on trivial things that doesnt add much to me except that growing frustration which is turning into dissatisfaction & demotivation day by day......!!!



i know it's the current situation & i have nth except dealing with it the way it is & benefiting from it as much as i can bla bla bla,...I KNOW,..I KNOW,..I KNOW,...but i can't help it ,...i'm really pissed off with all that ,.....i cant stand losing more years with the least benefit i can have,....i cant stand losing the passion of learning,...i can't stand missing the sense of accomplishment ,...& the worst of all i cant stand the idea that i may fail a course 4 the 1st time in my life for the sake of a bunch of psycho dr's.......I CANT STAND that <-<....!!!


i'm not in a need for someone to tell me that i need a paradigm shift or that i'm ruining evth with the way i think ,...coz it won't help after all as i'm stuck in this freaking state & i've been trying to get out of it for along time & nth worked properly for an acceptable period ,...& no1 can imagine how severe it is to remain that way for along time almost continuously ,...& i mean it... long long time ....!!!


i hate myself being complaining that much ,...coz it doesn't make difference ,....spread -ve energy in the air & make me feel guilty ,...so it makes things worse ,...but that's what it came out of me right now..... & after all it doesn't express the mixture of fury ,..disappointment,...demotivation ....& depression killing me all the time....!!!

Torture....!!

فى يوم من الأيام حلت على نائبة من نوائب الزمان....أذاقتنى من الذل ألوانا...و كانت للشقاء عنوانا....كان قربها عذابا...و بعدها سرابا ...و دربها لا يرجى منه ايابا....بها ما لا يحصى عددا...و لا يطيق أحدا....تكاد الجبال تخر منه هدا....تجعل من يومى أعواما ...و من النور اظلاما...و من الحقيقة أوهاما ....أخذها بالرفق و اللين...فتكون لى بئس القرين.....أعاملها بالقسوة و الجفاء...فتكون لى ألد الأعداء.....تصلينى نارها مرارا....فأرجو منها فرارا...فتزداد هى استعارا....!!ا
أصابنى منها الضعف و الاعياء...و لم أجد لها دواءا....فدعوت الله ألا يجعل لها بقاءا....و أن يرحم من شرورها أمثالنا الضعفاءَ.....فاللهم اكشف عنى ذاك الكرب...و اجعله تكفيرا لكل ذنب ....واحفظ عقلى راجحا ...و اجعلنى فى الدنيا و الأخرة ناجحا.....!!!ا


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for the microwaves <-<