المتألقة

هى كاتبة المستقبل كما يحلو لها أن تطلق على نفسها هى و أصدقاؤها و...و كاتبة الحاضر و المستقبل كما أراها ...فهى تكتب بذلك الأسلوب الذى يعكس علاقاتها الفريدة مع الأشخاص و الأشياء و الأماكن...حتى أنك لتشعر أنها تعانق قلمها و تسر له بمكنوناتها فينطلق على الورق ليصيغها كلمات تثير جميع حواسك.

فإذا ذكرت القهوة تشم رائحتها المنبعثة من فنجانها...ذلك الفنجان الذى لا يحوى معشوقتها فحسب إنما يتسع ليحتويها و يضمها أكثر مما تضمه...يشكل لها ملاذا آمنا من ظلام الليل الموحش...يدثرها فى برد الشتاء القارس...يصرف عنها إلحاح النوم المتصل...و يحميها من كآبة الوحدة القاتلة.

و إذا ذكرت الشيكولاتة...تشعر و كأن مذاقها قد انتقل إليك...و بهجتها قد غمرتك و إن لم تكن من عاشقى الشيكولاتة مثلها...فعلاقتهما معا تتعدى علاقة التهام إنسان لقطعة طعام...كأنما تضعها فى فمها لا لتأكلها و إنما لتتبادل معها حديثا بلغة لا يفهمها سواهما ...فتهمس إليها و هى تلوكها ببطء كى تطيل حديثهما...و قبل أن تذوب فى فمها تكون هى قد ذابت فيها.

و إذا ذكرت المنيل...تشعر و كأنها تتحدث عن منيلها الخاص لا عن منيل العوام...منيلها الذى يحمل براءة الطفولة و أحلام الصبا و عبق الذكريات...منيلها الذى يخيل إليك من حديثها أنه دويلة جديدة على الخريطة ...بل كويكب منفرد فى المجرة...منيلها الذى تحتضنه داخلها بشوارعه و أناسه أكثر مما يحتضنها.

حتى ألوانها الخشبية ليست مجرد أقلام صماء...بل هم أصدقاؤها الصغار الذين ينتشون كلما أمسكت بهم لترسم خطا أو تملأ أوراقها بشخابيطها ...لأنهم يعلمون أن أمامهم الكثير من المرح فى تلك اللحظات...و هم كألوان يلخصون حياتها التى تحفل بأطياف من الأشخاص و الأحداث و المواقف و الاهتمامات و الإبداعات التى تمتلئ بالتناقض المتجانس أو التجانس المتناقض...و الذى يزيد تألقها تألقا.

كل عام و أنت أكثر تألقا :kaboria:

:|

Finally I'm almost done with being a student,...actually i'm not an official graduate,..but according to the traditions ppl used to congratulate each others after the last exam considering the fact that the big rocks are over & this is really a good feeling..!!

Actually i'm not gonna write my thoughts about my feelings towards approaching the end of a 5-year phase,...mayb later...I just wanted to write random thoughts right now..!!

After the last exam i had no specific feeling,...some1 looked to me & said WOW it's over we should be over the moon,...she was so excited & still i felt nothing,...i just felt al7amdolelah & went home in silence as if it was a normal day or even more than normal...!!

here i thought about my reactions & found out that i have no extreme-or even more than the normal- feelings or reactions whatever happens...!

i dnt get so excited about sth,..i dnt get so happy,...i dnt get so sad,...i dnt get so impressed,...i dnt get so overwhelmed,..i dnt get so surprized ...etc.

mayb i have a high level of those feelings in certain occasions *,...but still this doesnt appear on me..!!

moreover, i dnt have "favourites" ; i.e: i dnt have a favourite color,music,singer,drink,food,style,place,company of ppl,writer,poet,sport,tv show,brand,subject,...to the end of the things & ppl prefer over each other...!!

i can try evth & get adapted with any circumstances & not get biased by anyth...!!

to sum up nth almost makes difference & to a point it's ok to b so neutral , but being neutral in the feelings & reactions is weird sometimes especially for the others...but anyway that's how it works with me for now...!!!

it's all the same,..i have no high expectations from the external factors,...i can expect the coming phases so i dnt get surprised or over react,..actually i sometimes under-react...!!

but all this doesnt oppose the fact that i'm satisfied al7amdolelah :)

----

*Actually i remember an occasion when i had the peaks of the good feelings,..this was with the best team i've ever worked with -for around 8 months-,..& still evth is engraved inside me :)

Facebook Driven Life..!

since the day facebook was launched,it grew bigger & bigger each day with more ppl registering ,starting groups,creating applications,...etc.

for sure anyth can b used wisely or in a crazy way according to the person's control on it, but as i notice many ppl around using facebook as if it were the center of the life i just call it a "facebook driven life"...!!

if u look to some1 of this type of ppl u'll find him starting his day opening the browser to check facebook.
he searches for a catchy statement to write as the status wishing to get as much comments as possible from others .u may find silly statements changing frequently just to satisfy an inner need for ppl attention,appreciation,sympathy or anyth else he lacks.
u may find some1 announcing that his "soba3 regly el so3'ayar beyewga3ny" as his status,..& his friends just reply to wish him speed recovery or even make fun of him.
u may find som1 writing hidden messages for another friend,announcing sth,cursing some1,revealing a feeling,releasing anger...etc.

u also find him craving for any comment on his wall or anyth in his profile to comment back,...& if there's nth he just plays some games,..take quizzes,..add applications to feel that he made sth new,...till he finds some1 online to chat or till he gets a comment to read & reply...!!

he always adds albums & photos ,& u find him waiting desperately for more comments on his latest photos-sometimes this is due to an inner lack of confidence or just a search for popularity-.the photos comments is a crazy part in most cases & it always makes me laugh or even feel sick of the triviality it shows.

if it's a girls' community,..u find a certain style of comments such as :
"ooooooh my god ,u look so gorgeous" (even if she believes that the other one looks ugly)
"oh sweetie,...miss u so much" (even if she can't stand her)
"luf u,..muaaah" (i hate this kind of sound effects...yuk)
"Woooooooow,...u look like an angel" (even if she looks like a real devil without horns)
"Thaaaaaaaanx for ur sweeeeeet words,..kisses" (so what? ,...words r free,...dnt just live in the lie)
"u really look cute,...miss u mooooot" (so what about dialing her phone no. if u really miss her..!!?)

on the other hand if it's a boys' community,..u find another style of comments such as:
"eih ya maaaaan,...gamda a7'er 7aga "
"ah ya 3am ba2a,...maaaashy ;)"
"eshta ya prince"
"c u so soon dude"
& more of the vulgar & tough comments i dnt know for sure,..but anyway it's a matter of saying anyth about ayth ,..just to comment @ satisfy real & virtual needs....!!

actually y may find obsessed ppl hurrying to take photos for themselves anywhere & anytime just to add new albums & get more comments ,...& if a person is more & more obsessed with facebook u may find sth like "fatakat lovers" group or "mido"fun page....just to show their photos,& hear flattering from others,...how silly...!!!!

so this was just a part of the "facebook driven life",... it is not the worst case,..& some of it is acceptable & normal sometimes,...& we all use facebook for different purposes...but it can be bad if some1 is really obsessed with it that he sticks to it most of the time & seeks a satisfaction for his inner needs through it...!!!

so it's all about balance & wise use of anyth..!

ارحل و عارك فى يديك

Farouk Gowaida's latest poem which is gonna b published on Al Ahram -friday 9/1/09 issue

For Bush

ارحل و عارك فى يديك

Part(1)

part(2)

part(3)

Gratitude Book..!

the Gratitude Book is sth i've passed by on TV & websites,..it's a way to practice gratitude on daily basis ,...it's a spiritual habit in the 1st place,...!

all u have to do is to:

-bring a small notebook

-spend few minutes each day to write 5 blessings (not necessarily 5,...u can write any no.,...but preferable a fixed no. to make it a habit )

-try to focus on what u write & feel the gratitude for each thing u write-write anyth & evth makes u feel grateful..,even if it seems tiny

-u may write the same blessing from different prespectives -u can make it i a fixed time in the day (once u wake up /or before u sleep)or any time

- if u forget it one day try to write'm down the next day aside with the new 5 i guess it's reasonable,..coz it's a kind of an interpretation for:

لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لأَزِيدَنَّكُم

ْوَإِن تَعُدُّواْ نِعْمَةَ اللّهِ لاَ تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ اللّهَ لَغَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ

practicing gratitude on daily basis makes u focus on evth around u to extract the daily 5 ne3am ,...u'll never underestimate a ne3ma,...u'll discover some ne3am u used to take for granted in ur life...!!

i just wanted to share it with u,..so if u find it a good idea,..go buy a small notebook & start ,...& it'd be a good idea to buy 2 & give it as a giftt to some1 to start with u.. :)

------------------------------
originally written on 27/10/08

The Giant Within..!

August 2008
--------------------------

when the light is shed to reveal the giant within...!!!

A One-Question Test..!

who is/r ur best friend/s?*

if u take seconds thinking b4 mentioning their names....
if u r not able to name them immediately....
if u r not saying their names confidently......

THEN:
u don't really have one/s....!!!!!!



*(the accurecy of this test depends on ur definition of "best friend")

Vitriol...!!!

Veronika Decides To Die
Paulo Coelho
----------------------------------


'You say they create their own reality,' said Veronika, 'but what is reality?'

'It's what the majority deems it to be. It's not necessarily the best or the most logical, but it's the one that has become adapted to the desires of society as a whole. You see this thing i've got round my neck?'

'You mean your tie?'

'Exactly. Your answer is the logical, coherent answer an absolutely normal person would give: it's a tie! A madman, however, would say that what I have round my neck is a ridiculous, useless bit of coloured cloth tied in a very complicated way, and which makes it harder to get air into your lungs and difficult to turn your neck. I have to be careful when I'm anywhere near a fan, or I could be strangled by this bit of cloth.

If a mad person were to ask me what this tie is for, I would have to say, absolutely nothing. It's not even purely decorative, since nowadays it's become a symbol of slavery, power, aloofness. The only really useful function a tie serves is the sense of relief when you get home and take it off; you feel as if you've freed yourself from something, though quite what you don't know.

'But does that sense of relief justify the existence of ties? No. Nevertheless, if I were to ask a madman and a normal person what this is, the sane person would say: a tie. It doesn't matter who's correct, what matters is who's right.'

Certain people, in their eagerness to construct a world which no external threat can penetrate, build exaggeratedly high defenses against the outside world, against new people, new places, different experiences, and leave their inner world stripped bare. It is there that Bitterness begins its irrevocable work.

The will was the main target of Bitterness (or Vitriol, as Dr. Igor preferred to call it). The people attacked by this malaise began to lose all desire, and within a few years, they became unable to leave their world, where they had spent enormous reserves of energy constructing high walls in order to make reality what they wanted it to be.

In order to avoid external attack, they had also deliberately limited internal growth, they continued going to work, watching television, having children, complaining about the traffic, but these things happened automatically, unaccompanied by any particular emotion, because, after all, everything was under control.

The great problem with poisoning by Bitterness was that the passions -- hatred, love, despair, enthusiasm, curiosity -- also ceased to manifest themselves. After a while, the embittered person felt no desire at all. They lacked the will either to live or to die, that was the problem.

That is why embittered people find heroes and madmen a perennial source of fascination, for they have no fear of life or death. Both heroes and madmen are indifferent to danger and will forge ahead regardless of what other people say. The madman committed suicide, the hero offered himself up to martyrdom in the name of a cause, but both would die, and the embittered would spend many nights and days remarking on the absurdity and the glory of both. It was the only moment when the embittered person had the energy to clamber up his defensive walls and peer over at the world outside, but then his hands and feet would grow tired and he would return to daily life.

Sha7'abeet (4)...!

Wednesday 21/5/2008

around 11:00 am
Hall 702
(Exam Q paper ; after running out of writable info :s....[insanity ^o)])

-------------------------------------------------------

sha7'abeet(1)...!!

sha7'abeet(2)...!!!

sha7'abeet(3)...!!!

Wallpapers..!

Designed by me around five months ago..(almost exams' time :D)!

Happened In Al Amereya..!

Nasir Shamma who witnessed Al Amereya massacre ,in Iraq, expressing it on his Oud...!

Destiny (2)..!

In the last entry i was talking about "The Alchemist",...or actually i just wrote some quotes or paragraphs i was sent b4 i read the whole novel ,..& as it was long i decided to comment in another entry,...so here we go...!


firstly when i read this part of the novel i felt as if it touched sth in my mind ,....mayb a couple of years ago i would've just said ...what a silly novel or what the hell is he talking about?!....but being in certain state of mind made me astonished by this part ,...dunno y,..but mayb coz i felt how true it can b,....or mayb coz i felt better to find out that it's sth common & not just a kind of insanity to keep thinking about futuer,.... choices,...available paths,....opportunities,...threats .....simply thinking about Destiny as he calls it all the time ....!!


i guess what i'm talking about is clear for whoever read the novel,.....but let's dig deeper in the issue....!!


the novel mainly talks about that shepherd who had a dream about a treasure in the pyramids area,....& to follow his dream he had to travel from Europe to egypt in a time when transportations was not that easy ,.....he me different ppl,..he money was stolen which stopped him & made him about to give up,....but through meeting some wise ppl & getting involved in various situations,...he could carry on & reach the pyramids after around 2 years,......& there he didn't find any treasure ,..instead he found a man who told him that he was idiot coz he followed his dream as that man had a similar dream about a treasure in the town the boy came from,...& he thought he was wise enough not to follow a silly dream....!!
so after all the boys went back to this town ,..dug & found out the treasure...!!


surely it's not the whole novel,..it's just my approach to summerize an important point i wanted to stress on......& mayb the novelist goes far sometimes in a fantasy or a fairytale way ,...but overall u can feel the words of wisdom & the philosophical approach of life in most of the situations in the novel....!!


& if we look deeper in the treasure issue we can c that the treasure was the destiny he was following ,....it was vague,..he didn't even know what exactly was looking for....he just knew that he was in his way to sth valuable & he had to work for it even if he didn't know it coz it worthed all the effort & the time he had to spent,.....& that was his motive ,....& whenever he was about to get satisfied & stop following his destiny he met some1 who reminded him of how important his journey was ,... how important to follow the omens in the universe ,..carry on till the end & never stop ,...& he did despite all the difficulties & threats he met on his way.....!


surely there came times when he felt that evth happening was a kind of a curse & couldn't find an explanation for anyth ,...but at the end and after he finished his journey & got the treasure he found out that the real treasure was the experience he lived & the ppl he met in those couple of years ,...he found out that he gained alot,..much more than a tangible treasure ,...& he found out that he would've lost alot if he didn't follow his dream as the man he met at the pyramids ,.....!!

he actually made sure of what the author says that " Life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny"....!!


mayb the part of realizing all that came at the end of the boy's journey in the last page in the novel & wasn't that detailed ,...& that's how i felt life works ,.....we may live years confused,..feeling sth wrong is going on,..unable to explain whatever happens ,..seeking sth vague ,...feeling bad about being lost in crossroads...........etc.....till a moment comes when evth is revealed & than we can look to the past & know how each single tiny thing happened was arranged by Allah in the best way ever......!!


unfortunately as this comes in the end of the journey ,...we just go in tour lives & forget that ,...but mayb that's y Allah sends messages or ''omens" as the novel says to remind us .....& that happened to me intensively in the previous months through convos with others or a novel or whatever,....& that's y i was touched by the novel although it may seem less than a normal novel for others....!!!



so here i'm trying to live my days ,..follow the omens,..pursue my destiny,....hoping that life will b generous to me for seeking it,...& looking forward for the day when i'll look back in satisfaction & know y i took certain paths instead of others & after all thank Allah for guiding me & arranging my life the way it was :) .....!!

Destiny..!

Around a month ago i was sent the following part from "The Alchemist" ,...with the red highlights in it,......i've heared about this novel since years but didn't have the chance to read it,....so after reading those quotes & being in a certain state of mind made me borrow it within few days & read it although i was sooo busy ....!!
& as it's kinda long part & i dnt have enough time now to write my comment about this part & the whole novel's idea,...i'll let u read it for now -if u r interested- & i'll comment in the next entery ISA ...!!


---------------------------

"For several reasons. But let's say that the most important is that you have succeeded in discovering your destiny."
The boy didn't know what a person's "destiny" was.
"It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is.At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny."


None of what the old man was saying made much sense to the boy. But he wanted to know what the "mysterious force" was; the merchant's daughter would be impressed when he told her about that!
"It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your destiny. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth."


"Even when all you want to do is travel? Or marry the daughter of a textile merchant?"
"Yes, or even search for treasure. The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation. All things are one.And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."


They were both silent for a time, observing the plaza and the townspeople. It was the old man who spoke first.
"Why do you tend a flock of sheep?"
"Because I like to travel." The old man pointed to a baker standing in his shop window at one corner of the plaza. "When he was a child, that man wanted to travel, too. But he decided first to buy his bakery and put some money aside. When he's an old man, he's going to spend a month in Africa. He never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."


"He should have decided to become a shepherd," the boy said.
"Well, he thought about that," the old man said. "But bakers are more important people than shepherds. Bakers have homes, while shepherds sleep out in the open. Parents would rather see their children marry bakers than shepherds."


The boy felt a pang in his heart, thinking about the merchant's daughter. There was surely a baker in her town.

The old man continued, "In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them than their own destinies."
The old man leafed through the book, and fell to reading a page he came to. The boy waited, and then interrupted the old man just as he himself had been interrupted. "Why are you telling me all this?"
"Because you are trying to realize your destiny. And you are at the point where you're about to give it all up."
"And that's when you always appear on the scene?"
"Not always in this way, but I always appear in one form or another. Sometimes I appear in the form of a solution, or a good idea. At other times, at a crucial moment, I make it easier for things to happen. There are other things I do, too, but most of the time people don't realize I've done them."

Dystopia..!

One day i was asked by some1 who travelled a couple of years ago abroad to work for PHD ,..."How is Egypt?!",...

i answered "u just can predict how's everything going on if u look to the past & the present ,...they r the real indication for the near future ,...just look carefully to the trend & u can feel what's happening without seeing it,....!!

" mayb it can b a pessimistic point of view although i call it realistic ,....but we can't ignore the fact that nth comes from nowhere & what happen now is a result for what we lived 2day ,...& consequently what's gonna happen 2morrow is a result for what's happening now to a certain point,......& based on my belief that the net motion in our society is negative i can say that i have concerns about the future....!!

surely what reminded me of all that is Dr.Ahmed Khaled Tawfik's latest novel "UTOPIA" which i read a couple of days ago ,...it belongs to the Dystopia trend (the vision of a society that is opposite to utopia).......he's kind of imagining the worst case scenario for egypt in specific if the same conditions remains with some changes in the whole world ,....(around 15 years from now...)!!

the novel goes through the lives of the rich who get richer & the poor who get poorer showing the opposites,...& showing how evth is ruined ,...ethics ,..humanity,...etc,..... how the ppl on both sides lost their humanity & turned into horrible creatures worse than animals ,.....& how few of them struggle to keep part of their humanity ,....!!!

it may seem a kind of a shock,...& some readers may feel that it's a fantasy ,...but i c it a bell to make ppl wake up b4 everything is destroyed,.....& who know mayb one day ppl will remember this novel as an old true predictions & if that happens i wish to b out of this life not to c that coming true ....!!!

after all whatever our POV's in the dystopia issue r ,....it's a novel that worths reading ....!!

هذيان..!!ا

اللاشئ

يوم جديد تطل على استحياء شمسه معلنة قدومه .... محملة بهموم لم أعد أدرى ما هى أحاول أن أنهض لأستقبله...يمنعنى شئ ما من النهوض...أقاوم ذاك الشئ أو" اللا شئ "و انفصل عن السرير اللعين الذى ألتصق به لساعات دون أن يراودنى حلما أو حتى كابوسا...فقط يراودنى "اللا شئ"....أغادره أخيرا بخطوات ثقيلة و كأن مغناطيسا ضخما يجذبنى الى الوراء...أمسك بالجريدة لأتفقد أحوال الطقس....تقول الجريدة أنه يوم مشمس ...و لكن حدسى يخبرنى أنه يوم ملبد بالغيوم....أنظر من النافذة... أرى بالفعل سماء مظلمة ملبدة بالغيوم....لا أعلم اأخطأت النشرة الجوية ...أم أن تلك الظلمة هى الظلمة بداخلى قد فاضت حتى اجتاحت الكون و صبغته بذلك اللون الكئيب ....أم أنه "اللا شئ"...؟!ا

أرتدى ملابسى...أحتسى "اللا شئ"...أنطلق الى حال سبيى و أنا لا زلت ما بين النوم و اليقظة...تلك الحالة التى تنتابنى لساعات قبل أن تتم يقظتى حتى أن الرائى ليسألنى ما بك....فأجيب "لا شئ"....!!ا

أرى فى ذاك الصباح الباكر من يمسحون قطرات الندى عن نوافذ سياراتهم...لا أعلم لماذا أشعر فى تلك اللحظة أنهم يمسحون عن وجه الكون دموعا أخذ يذرفها طوال الليل ....و.اتساءل ما الذى قد يبكى الكون هكذا ...تراه "اللا شئ"؟ !!!ا

أمضى فى طريقى....أتفحص أوجه الناس من حولى...يتملكنى شعور بالغضب لا أعلم مصدره...أحاول أن أقاومه....أشعر بنسيم الصباح الرقيق يداعبنى...أعرض عنه و أكاد أقسم أن أصرخ به لو كان بشرا.....أمخر عباب الكتل البشرية المحيطة بى من كل جانب ...أرى أناسا يعرفوننى و أعرفهم ...أمر أمامهم مرورا عابرا دون أن ينبس أحد منا ببنت شفة....لا أعلم هل استحلت شبحا أم هم من صاروا أشباحا ...أم ترانى تحولت الى ذلك "اللا شئ؟!!!...

.أمر على أخرين ...هذه المرة يلقون التحية .... أقنع نفسى أن تلك التحية موجهة لى و أننى لست شبحا...أبذل جهدا و أنا أرد التحية كى أرسم على شفتى تلك الابتسامة التى لا تنجح فى خداع الرائى و تخفى ما وراءها من الغيوم القاتمة....أجلس بين الجموع من حولى...أسمع لأصواتهم طنينا كطنين النحل ....أشعر بالانزعاج...يعلو شيئا فشيئا ... يتشابك الصياح مع الضحك مع الشجار ...يعلو الضجيج...تنتابنى تلك الرغبة المجنونة فى الصراخ ...الصراخ فى من حولى...الصراخ فى نفسى...الصراخ فى "اللا شئ"....أعلم أنه الجنون بعينه و لكن تلك الرغبة تنتابنى بشدة منذ زمن بعيد ... أخيرا أطلق صرخة مدوية ....و لكن لا أرى من ينتبه أو يتحرك قيد أنملة.....ترى هل كان صوتى خافتا الى ذلك الحد ....أم أننى لم أطلق تلك الصرخة الا داخلى...و لم تسمع الا داخلى...أم أننى فقط أطلقت "اللا شئ"....؟!!

أتأمل مشهد الغروب المهيب....أرى الشفق يحيط بالشمس التى ترحل كما ولدت فى الصباح على استحياء...و أرى ظهور الهلال الذى يبدو فى تحدبه ككهل حمله الزمان ما أحنى ظهره و قوسه.... أرى أسراب الطيور التى تهرع فى كل الاتجاهات و كأنها تفر من شئ ما....و أرى بقايا من نجوم أشعر و أنا أرى بريقها الخافت أنها تكبدت عناء كبيرا كى تنتصر على ذلك الضباب و تلك الغيوم التى توشح بها الكون...اتأمل و أتألم...لا أدرى هل أتألم لرحيل الشمس و تقوس الهلال و فرار الطيور و طغيان الضباب أم أننى أتألم لأنى استعذب الألم!!...استغرق فى التأمل الى أن أجد من يهمس فى أذنى "كفى"...أتلفت لأعلم من ذا الذى تجرأ ليقطع خلوتى....أتلفت و أنظر فأجد "اللا شئ".....!!!!!

Never Too Late...!

after previous discussions i remembered the following real story......:)

In 1998, John Wood was a rising executive at Microsoft when he took a vacation that changed his life. What started as a trekking holiday in Nepal became a spiritual journey, and then a mission: to change the world one book and one child at a time by setting up libraries in the developing world. He was soon driven to leave his career with only a loose vision of the change he wanted to bring to the world.

Over the next five years John would make the unlikely marriage between Microsoft business practices and the world of non-profits to create Room to Read, an organization that has created a network of over 4,000 schools and libraries throughout rural and poor communities in Asia, Africa, and soon in Latin America (starting in 2008).

The organization is now one of the fastest growing, most effective, and award-winning non-profits of the last decade. John has been recognized in the worldwide media as a "21st century Andrew Carnegie," building a public library infrastructure to help the developing world break the cycle of poverty through the lifelong gift of education.

the following video is long but has more details & it's really a nice one .....!!!

Torture....!!

فى يوم من الأيام حلت على نائبة من نوائب الزمان....أذاقتنى من الذل ألوانا...و كانت للشقاء عنوانا....كان قربها عذابا...و بعدها سرابا ...و دربها لا يرجى منه ايابا....بها ما لا يحصى عددا...و لا يطيق أحدا....تكاد الجبال تخر منه هدا....تجعل من يومى أعواما ...و من النور اظلاما...و من الحقيقة أوهاما ....أخذها بالرفق و اللين...فتكون لى بئس القرين.....أعاملها بالقسوة و الجفاء...فتكون لى ألد الأعداء.....تصلينى نارها مرارا....فأرجو منها فرارا...فتزداد هى استعارا....!!ا
أصابنى منها الضعف و الاعياء...و لم أجد لها دواءا....فدعوت الله ألا يجعل لها بقاءا....و أن يرحم من شرورها أمثالنا الضعفاءَ.....فاللهم اكشف عنى ذاك الكرب...و اجعله تكفيرا لكل ذنب ....واحفظ عقلى راجحا ...و اجعلنى فى الدنيا و الأخرة ناجحا.....!!!ا


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for the microwaves <-<

The Broken Smile...!

More than 2 years ago before 1st electrical i bought that clipboard,.....i used it all the time in & out the faculty.....it was a freaking one,....coz the clip was a smily face,... it has smiley faces everywhere ,...so sometimes i got angry @ it coz it always smiled even if it's a bad time for me,...& here i took a pencil & drew a reverse smile -i.e :( - on its mouth ....!!

last year a small part of it was broken,...it was from the parts supporting the clip ,...but it survived & i could use it despite what happened,.....!!!

few days ago,....the other part supporting it was broken,....& the clipboard's life ended :(........
,.....if it was a human i would say that it may b a kind of objection or sth,......but i liked it even if i tortured it!!

after all it's gone & the smile was broken....!!!!!!!!!

The Crescent...!!

more than a month ago i was talking with sb & she told me:

"look,....u may not c the light,....not even a ray ,...it may b completely dark,....but believe that the light is there somewhere even if u can't feel it"

regardless of how much i stick to this belief ,....i just remembered some parts of this poem....!!

أنا الاحتمالْ

أنا الزَّعمُ أن اللإضاءةَ في الليلِ ممكنةٌ دونَ أن تظلمَ النارُ زيتاً

ودونَ افتخارِ الدُّخَانِ بلا وَجْهِ حَقٍّ على العالمينْ



أنا الليلُ حينَ يخالفُ فِطْرَتَهُ ويُضِيءُ

أنا الاحتمالُ الضئيلْ

أقولُ لكم إنَّ شمساً، وإن فارَقَتْ، ما تَزَالُ هُنا

في زوايا السماءِ

ووجهيِ عليها الدَّليلْ

أنا الاحتمالُ الخفيفُ الثقيلْ

أنا كُلَّما أضَعَفَ الله ضوئي طالَبْتُكم أن تَرَوْنِيَ أكثَرَ

هاتوا مناظيرَكُم واستعِدُّوا

أنا الأَمَلُ المستَغِلُّ الذي دائماً يطلبُ المستحيلْ



يُوقِنُ الراصدونَ بأن لا صَبَاحَ سَيَطْلُعُ مِنِّي

لأني ضعيفٌ نحيفٌ هزيلْ

ويأتونكم بالبراهينِ، هذا هُوَ العِلْمُ

إن الأَهِلَّةَ أَبْخَلُ من أن تَجُودَ عليكم بنورٍ

وإن الأَهِلَّةّ محضُ صخورٍ

ويأتونكم بالبراهينِ

وعدُ الهلالِ لكم بالضياءِ ضلالْ

ويقولون إذ يُمْعِنُ الليلُ في نَفْسِهِ

وأكادُ أغيبُ

انظروا، إنه سوف يَتْرُكُكُمْ للظلام،

ويَنْتَحِلُونَ لِيَ العُذْرَ،

إن الظَّلامَ كَثِيرٌ

وإن الهلالَ قليلْ

ولكنَّهُم يُذْهَلُونَ إذا ما أَطَلَّ عليكم بِوَجْهِي صباحٌ جديدْ

لم أَغِبْ، كنتُ أحضِرُه من مَكَامِنِهِ،

أَيْ نَعَمْ، مِتُّ حتى أتيتُ بِهِ

فأنا الميِّتُ الحيُّ فيهِ

اْذكروني اْذكروني إذا جاء صبحٌ

ففي كلِّ صبحٍ هلالٌ شهيد

تميم البرغوثى
مقام عراق

ONE Year...!

One year ago,...exactly one year passed since i launched this blog .....!!

actually it wasn't my first trial in the world of blogging but i can consider it the 1st one to b published in public for everybody ,.....before i started"Ummah on blog spot i passed through some issues that made me stop writing in my past blog that wasn't mature as i consider Ummah . one day i was commenting on another blog & i thought that ,....'ok mayb it's time to come back to writing in a blog totally controlled by me'..... & i started Ummah.

In Ummah i wrote alot about different issues ,....politics,..religion,...current issues,...thoughts ,...etc. ,...i wrote & i wrote till it became kind of a daily habit & i enjoyed it ,....but unfortunately i passed trough a period of time that i was kind of blocked as i mentioned before & i felt that it's gonna be the 1st & the last year for Ummah ,......but mayb i didn't want that to happen so i tried to come back ,...mayb not with the same rate as before but in a way to bring Ummah back to life & mayb to bring me also back to a previous state.....!!


dunno if my trial is gonna work ,...dunno if there will be a real 2nd year or not,.....but what i know that time will make me know.....!!!

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our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
in these small hours,
these small hours still remain


Little Wonders
Meet The Robinsons