Failure for Dummies..!

i was thinking what can egypt teach the world,... what unique experience can the government transfer to the other countries ? & what significant thing can the responsible or even the normal ppl write about ?!

i found out that in the last decades egypt succeeded to fail , the different successive regimes,few as they are, could set new standards for failure on different levels ,....so it came up to my mind that the special thing egypt can teach others is the failure techniques . it can be in a simple book to gather the deep experience in this field .

The book can be entitled "How to become a LOOSER in 21 days?",..."The 7000 habits of highly effective LOSERS"...or it can be "FAILURE for Dummies" as the famous for Dummies series...!!

The book can include the different types of failure,...starting from the individual failure to the nation failure,....& that's y many ppl can contribute in this book starting from the normal citizen to the highest authority in egypt,.....each one can add sth after all ,....coz ppl either experienced special sorts of failure or contributed in creating new techniques ....!!

to b clear i'm not talking about the normal failure evbody around the world go through ,....coz it's not always bad after all,...& ups & downs are the essence of life ,.....i'm just talking about a special kind of failure ,....the failure that brings evth down all the time,....the failure that has no reason,...the repeated failure that comes time after time in the same way or even worse,....the failure that is destructive enough to get into the souls of a whole nation,...steal their smiles & kill their hopes ...............this is the failure i'm talking about...!!

Toshka project was a failure, Mondial zero was a failure...intensive corruption is a failure,...governmental organizations systems r failure,.... education process is a failure,....political system is a failure ,.....those r some examples of the destructive failure which get worse evday...!

so mayb it's time to write the book ,.....& mayb it seems a joke,...but it can b true....not to teach others the techniques of failure,...but to document the worst experience to learn from it later on,....to think deeply about the reasons of failure & be aware not to repeat it..... !!!

that's what turn failure in to success ,...only whan ppl get out of the denial state , admit their failure & work to avoid it later on....!!

Happened In Al Amereya..!

Nasir Shamma who witnessed Al Amereya massacre ,in Iraq, expressing it on his Oud...!

In Love With Books ...!

Born in a home where books were evwhere around ,...i had that special relation with'm b4 i can even read.....we had that big library , i saw it big as a kid :D, containing books ,dictionaries,encyclopaedia's & others in various languages (arabic,english,french,russian,persian....)& in totally different fields (starting by politics,economy,military,science,languages,history....& ending by cook books :D)......!!

being a kid i had nth to do with it ,...but as times passed i began to open it & check the books out ,....& guess what?!!... till now i may find out a new book that was stuck here or there on the upper shelf or sth ,...!!
it happened a couple of weeks ago ,..i saw a book that i've never seen b4 ,...& as it was in the middle shelf i wondered how i didn'ti noticed it b4 ^o),....weird,....i felt as if the books r reproducing there :D...!!


that was the initial library in home,..my father's one,.....but as my parents began to buy us books since the first years in our lives books began to accumulate in home & they became official members in our family ,....!!
i dnt remember exactly when i began to read alone,..but i guess i began earlier than many kids do ,..mayb coz i was sharing my elder sister or coz that passion was growing up since day 1,...dunno,....i read short stories,...prophet's stories,...etc...... i remember that i read relatively long stories in primary stage,....mayb on 4th or 5th i began to read famous novels as "around the world in eighty days",..."journey to the center of the earth",..& stuff like this,........in 1st preparatory we moved to another apartment taking the books with us,...we made 2 extra small libraries to put the books that multiplied in the previous years,.....& here i began to look through the books again & try diff. kinds,....in preparatory i began to read famous arabic literature ,....i guess my first one was "Al Ayam" ,...i do remember :D ,......!!

then after a while i decided to seek diversification ,.....i mean to read anyth coz i believed that whatever we read will add sth to me even if it's tiny.....i remember reading a book about (GATT) in preparatory phase or sth ,....i guess i didn't remember most of its details after finishing it ;; ,...but it was ok after all :D
& since then i tried to read diff kinds of books,....& sometimes i found myself interested in a certain type for a while ,..then another one,..etc.


mayb sometimes in secondary phase or the beginning of the faculty phase i was busy,...or couldn't manage time properly when i study ,...so i didn't have the time to read as much as i wish & found myself afraid to start a book & not have a time to finish it quickly,....coz actually i dnt like to read a single book in along time ,.....!!

but lately i decided to find time in a way or a another coz that's sth i love ,..sth that cheers me up ,...sth that adds new dimensions to my life ,...sth that offers me a special companion when i get fed up with ppl ,....so i have to find an hour here & another there & read to nourish my mind & soul ....!!



i do c real book worms ...& i know i'm not a real one,...or mayb a tiny one :D....,.....but mayb coz i dnt always have the time & coz i do have other priorities in life ,....mayb that's y i'm a tiny one :D,....but i also know that the more i grow up ,..the stronger the connection between me & books gets ,..... the more i get happy & sad @ the same time when i go to somewhere full of books coz i love them but dnt have the time or the money for them all :D,...& most important the more my reading passion grows....!!


i guess i went far in all those scattered thoughts about books & reading ^o),...& mayb whoever reads that will get bored or won't b able to make find the connection in it,..but after all they're just my thoughts & they came to my mind....!!!!
so after all i just pray for Allah to give me the time & the passion to read till the end of my life :)

Destiny (2)..!

In the last entry i was talking about "The Alchemist",...or actually i just wrote some quotes or paragraphs i was sent b4 i read the whole novel ,..& as it was long i decided to comment in another entry,...so here we go...!


firstly when i read this part of the novel i felt as if it touched sth in my mind ,....mayb a couple of years ago i would've just said ...what a silly novel or what the hell is he talking about?!....but being in certain state of mind made me astonished by this part ,...dunno y,..but mayb coz i felt how true it can b,....or mayb coz i felt better to find out that it's sth common & not just a kind of insanity to keep thinking about futuer,.... choices,...available paths,....opportunities,...threats .....simply thinking about Destiny as he calls it all the time ....!!


i guess what i'm talking about is clear for whoever read the novel,.....but let's dig deeper in the issue....!!


the novel mainly talks about that shepherd who had a dream about a treasure in the pyramids area,....& to follow his dream he had to travel from Europe to egypt in a time when transportations was not that easy ,.....he me different ppl,..he money was stolen which stopped him & made him about to give up,....but through meeting some wise ppl & getting involved in various situations,...he could carry on & reach the pyramids after around 2 years,......& there he didn't find any treasure ,..instead he found a man who told him that he was idiot coz he followed his dream as that man had a similar dream about a treasure in the town the boy came from,...& he thought he was wise enough not to follow a silly dream....!!
so after all the boys went back to this town ,..dug & found out the treasure...!!


surely it's not the whole novel,..it's just my approach to summerize an important point i wanted to stress on......& mayb the novelist goes far sometimes in a fantasy or a fairytale way ,...but overall u can feel the words of wisdom & the philosophical approach of life in most of the situations in the novel....!!


& if we look deeper in the treasure issue we can c that the treasure was the destiny he was following ,....it was vague,..he didn't even know what exactly was looking for....he just knew that he was in his way to sth valuable & he had to work for it even if he didn't know it coz it worthed all the effort & the time he had to spent,.....& that was his motive ,....& whenever he was about to get satisfied & stop following his destiny he met some1 who reminded him of how important his journey was ,... how important to follow the omens in the universe ,..carry on till the end & never stop ,...& he did despite all the difficulties & threats he met on his way.....!


surely there came times when he felt that evth happening was a kind of a curse & couldn't find an explanation for anyth ,...but at the end and after he finished his journey & got the treasure he found out that the real treasure was the experience he lived & the ppl he met in those couple of years ,...he found out that he gained alot,..much more than a tangible treasure ,...& he found out that he would've lost alot if he didn't follow his dream as the man he met at the pyramids ,.....!!

he actually made sure of what the author says that " Life really is generous to those who pursue their destiny"....!!


mayb the part of realizing all that came at the end of the boy's journey in the last page in the novel & wasn't that detailed ,...& that's how i felt life works ,.....we may live years confused,..feeling sth wrong is going on,..unable to explain whatever happens ,..seeking sth vague ,...feeling bad about being lost in crossroads...........etc.....till a moment comes when evth is revealed & than we can look to the past & know how each single tiny thing happened was arranged by Allah in the best way ever......!!


unfortunately as this comes in the end of the journey ,...we just go in tour lives & forget that ,...but mayb that's y Allah sends messages or ''omens" as the novel says to remind us .....& that happened to me intensively in the previous months through convos with others or a novel or whatever,....& that's y i was touched by the novel although it may seem less than a normal novel for others....!!!



so here i'm trying to live my days ,..follow the omens,..pursue my destiny,....hoping that life will b generous to me for seeking it,...& looking forward for the day when i'll look back in satisfaction & know y i took certain paths instead of others & after all thank Allah for guiding me & arranging my life the way it was :) .....!!

Destiny..!

Around a month ago i was sent the following part from "The Alchemist" ,...with the red highlights in it,......i've heared about this novel since years but didn't have the chance to read it,....so after reading those quotes & being in a certain state of mind made me borrow it within few days & read it although i was sooo busy ....!!
& as it's kinda long part & i dnt have enough time now to write my comment about this part & the whole novel's idea,...i'll let u read it for now -if u r interested- & i'll comment in the next entery ISA ...!!


---------------------------

"For several reasons. But let's say that the most important is that you have succeeded in discovering your destiny."
The boy didn't know what a person's "destiny" was.
"It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is.At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny."


None of what the old man was saying made much sense to the boy. But he wanted to know what the "mysterious force" was; the merchant's daughter would be impressed when he told her about that!
"It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your destiny. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth."


"Even when all you want to do is travel? Or marry the daughter of a textile merchant?"
"Yes, or even search for treasure. The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation. All things are one.And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."


They were both silent for a time, observing the plaza and the townspeople. It was the old man who spoke first.
"Why do you tend a flock of sheep?"
"Because I like to travel." The old man pointed to a baker standing in his shop window at one corner of the plaza. "When he was a child, that man wanted to travel, too. But he decided first to buy his bakery and put some money aside. When he's an old man, he's going to spend a month in Africa. He never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."


"He should have decided to become a shepherd," the boy said.
"Well, he thought about that," the old man said. "But bakers are more important people than shepherds. Bakers have homes, while shepherds sleep out in the open. Parents would rather see their children marry bakers than shepherds."


The boy felt a pang in his heart, thinking about the merchant's daughter. There was surely a baker in her town.

The old man continued, "In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them than their own destinies."
The old man leafed through the book, and fell to reading a page he came to. The boy waited, and then interrupted the old man just as he himself had been interrupted. "Why are you telling me all this?"
"Because you are trying to realize your destiny. And you are at the point where you're about to give it all up."
"And that's when you always appear on the scene?"
"Not always in this way, but I always appear in one form or another. Sometimes I appear in the form of a solution, or a good idea. At other times, at a crucial moment, I make it easier for things to happen. There are other things I do, too, but most of the time people don't realize I've done them."

Dystopia..!

One day i was asked by some1 who travelled a couple of years ago abroad to work for PHD ,..."How is Egypt?!",...

i answered "u just can predict how's everything going on if u look to the past & the present ,...they r the real indication for the near future ,...just look carefully to the trend & u can feel what's happening without seeing it,....!!

" mayb it can b a pessimistic point of view although i call it realistic ,....but we can't ignore the fact that nth comes from nowhere & what happen now is a result for what we lived 2day ,...& consequently what's gonna happen 2morrow is a result for what's happening now to a certain point,......& based on my belief that the net motion in our society is negative i can say that i have concerns about the future....!!

surely what reminded me of all that is Dr.Ahmed Khaled Tawfik's latest novel "UTOPIA" which i read a couple of days ago ,...it belongs to the Dystopia trend (the vision of a society that is opposite to utopia).......he's kind of imagining the worst case scenario for egypt in specific if the same conditions remains with some changes in the whole world ,....(around 15 years from now...)!!

the novel goes through the lives of the rich who get richer & the poor who get poorer showing the opposites,...& showing how evth is ruined ,...ethics ,..humanity,...etc,..... how the ppl on both sides lost their humanity & turned into horrible creatures worse than animals ,.....& how few of them struggle to keep part of their humanity ,....!!!

it may seem a kind of a shock,...& some readers may feel that it's a fantasy ,...but i c it a bell to make ppl wake up b4 everything is destroyed,.....& who know mayb one day ppl will remember this novel as an old true predictions & if that happens i wish to b out of this life not to c that coming true ....!!!

after all whatever our POV's in the dystopia issue r ,....it's a novel that worths reading ....!!

هذيان..!!ا

اللاشئ

يوم جديد تطل على استحياء شمسه معلنة قدومه .... محملة بهموم لم أعد أدرى ما هى أحاول أن أنهض لأستقبله...يمنعنى شئ ما من النهوض...أقاوم ذاك الشئ أو" اللا شئ "و انفصل عن السرير اللعين الذى ألتصق به لساعات دون أن يراودنى حلما أو حتى كابوسا...فقط يراودنى "اللا شئ"....أغادره أخيرا بخطوات ثقيلة و كأن مغناطيسا ضخما يجذبنى الى الوراء...أمسك بالجريدة لأتفقد أحوال الطقس....تقول الجريدة أنه يوم مشمس ...و لكن حدسى يخبرنى أنه يوم ملبد بالغيوم....أنظر من النافذة... أرى بالفعل سماء مظلمة ملبدة بالغيوم....لا أعلم اأخطأت النشرة الجوية ...أم أن تلك الظلمة هى الظلمة بداخلى قد فاضت حتى اجتاحت الكون و صبغته بذلك اللون الكئيب ....أم أنه "اللا شئ"...؟!ا

أرتدى ملابسى...أحتسى "اللا شئ"...أنطلق الى حال سبيى و أنا لا زلت ما بين النوم و اليقظة...تلك الحالة التى تنتابنى لساعات قبل أن تتم يقظتى حتى أن الرائى ليسألنى ما بك....فأجيب "لا شئ"....!!ا

أرى فى ذاك الصباح الباكر من يمسحون قطرات الندى عن نوافذ سياراتهم...لا أعلم لماذا أشعر فى تلك اللحظة أنهم يمسحون عن وجه الكون دموعا أخذ يذرفها طوال الليل ....و.اتساءل ما الذى قد يبكى الكون هكذا ...تراه "اللا شئ"؟ !!!ا

أمضى فى طريقى....أتفحص أوجه الناس من حولى...يتملكنى شعور بالغضب لا أعلم مصدره...أحاول أن أقاومه....أشعر بنسيم الصباح الرقيق يداعبنى...أعرض عنه و أكاد أقسم أن أصرخ به لو كان بشرا.....أمخر عباب الكتل البشرية المحيطة بى من كل جانب ...أرى أناسا يعرفوننى و أعرفهم ...أمر أمامهم مرورا عابرا دون أن ينبس أحد منا ببنت شفة....لا أعلم هل استحلت شبحا أم هم من صاروا أشباحا ...أم ترانى تحولت الى ذلك "اللا شئ؟!!!...

.أمر على أخرين ...هذه المرة يلقون التحية .... أقنع نفسى أن تلك التحية موجهة لى و أننى لست شبحا...أبذل جهدا و أنا أرد التحية كى أرسم على شفتى تلك الابتسامة التى لا تنجح فى خداع الرائى و تخفى ما وراءها من الغيوم القاتمة....أجلس بين الجموع من حولى...أسمع لأصواتهم طنينا كطنين النحل ....أشعر بالانزعاج...يعلو شيئا فشيئا ... يتشابك الصياح مع الضحك مع الشجار ...يعلو الضجيج...تنتابنى تلك الرغبة المجنونة فى الصراخ ...الصراخ فى من حولى...الصراخ فى نفسى...الصراخ فى "اللا شئ"....أعلم أنه الجنون بعينه و لكن تلك الرغبة تنتابنى بشدة منذ زمن بعيد ... أخيرا أطلق صرخة مدوية ....و لكن لا أرى من ينتبه أو يتحرك قيد أنملة.....ترى هل كان صوتى خافتا الى ذلك الحد ....أم أننى لم أطلق تلك الصرخة الا داخلى...و لم تسمع الا داخلى...أم أننى فقط أطلقت "اللا شئ"....؟!!

أتأمل مشهد الغروب المهيب....أرى الشفق يحيط بالشمس التى ترحل كما ولدت فى الصباح على استحياء...و أرى ظهور الهلال الذى يبدو فى تحدبه ككهل حمله الزمان ما أحنى ظهره و قوسه.... أرى أسراب الطيور التى تهرع فى كل الاتجاهات و كأنها تفر من شئ ما....و أرى بقايا من نجوم أشعر و أنا أرى بريقها الخافت أنها تكبدت عناء كبيرا كى تنتصر على ذلك الضباب و تلك الغيوم التى توشح بها الكون...اتأمل و أتألم...لا أدرى هل أتألم لرحيل الشمس و تقوس الهلال و فرار الطيور و طغيان الضباب أم أننى أتألم لأنى استعذب الألم!!...استغرق فى التأمل الى أن أجد من يهمس فى أذنى "كفى"...أتلفت لأعلم من ذا الذى تجرأ ليقطع خلوتى....أتلفت و أنظر فأجد "اللا شئ".....!!!!!

The THING....!!

few days ago i was having a long convo with a friend about different issues , she mentioned John Wood in Never Too Late...! entry & other ppl around us ,..i was posing many Q's which r in my mind lately & she was showing me things from other perspectives....& mayb the following paragraphs may seem a kind of scattered ideas & Q's... !!


we were talking that each1 is created to make & add sth to life somehow & evth happens to him is meant to b in the way to this thing & here came some thoughts & Q's.....


should all the ppl know from the very beginning of their lives the thing they should work for in specific?!! ...should they take the time to find it ?!! or can they find it on their way by accident?!!....can some1 live satisfied for decades thinking he is on the right way while he is not...?!!....can he wake up one day to find another way open & say THAT'S IT ,...that's what i always missed..?!!.....can he break the routine & find the courage to change his way?!! ....can he know in the 1st place that it's really the right way?!!


& can some1 live for years feeling that he cant find the right way....?!! can sb live with the daily feeling of being lost & the continuous worry to remain like that for years or even die without finding the right way ?!!..... should that person wait for sth to pop on his way or should he work & seek the thing he's there for?!!..... should this person take from his energy to seek that unknown thing while others know & just spend the energy to work for a known thing...?! ....can that b -as my friend said- coz this thing or role is so precious that that person has to work to find it first than work for it ?!...or can it b coz the person is a looser?!!.....& what if he is seeking but can't reach anyth..?!!...should he stop , carry on or live coz he just has to live?!! can that be a long way but taking it is a must to learn sth b4 reaching the right thing?!!...


& what if he began to lose special parts of himself in this struggle...?! ...& why should this struggle exists in the 1st place...?!!...& what if all that is in vain coz he's on the right way but he couldn't realize it b4?!!....what if he realizes it too late ..?!!... is it really never too late...?!.........................................................................................................................& much more...!!



those were some odd thoughts but one can never avoid'm when they come to one's mind....!!


& btw i'm not talking about dreams or setting SMART goals in life ,....i'm talking about finding that "THING" or whatever we can call it which the person is created for ,..which make'm say "THAT'S IT" confidently,....the THING that shined in Nepal & made john wood leave microsoft & have the power & the passion to change the world,.... the THING that changed the life of ppl around me upside down ,...the very specific THING that each person is created for....the THING that is unique as a finger print for each & every creature in the universe...!!

it's the THING....!!

:'(

Mesh 3ayza aro7 el madrasa :'(

Never Too Late...!

after previous discussions i remembered the following real story......:)

In 1998, John Wood was a rising executive at Microsoft when he took a vacation that changed his life. What started as a trekking holiday in Nepal became a spiritual journey, and then a mission: to change the world one book and one child at a time by setting up libraries in the developing world. He was soon driven to leave his career with only a loose vision of the change he wanted to bring to the world.

Over the next five years John would make the unlikely marriage between Microsoft business practices and the world of non-profits to create Room to Read, an organization that has created a network of over 4,000 schools and libraries throughout rural and poor communities in Asia, Africa, and soon in Latin America (starting in 2008).

The organization is now one of the fastest growing, most effective, and award-winning non-profits of the last decade. John has been recognized in the worldwide media as a "21st century Andrew Carnegie," building a public library infrastructure to help the developing world break the cycle of poverty through the lifelong gift of education.

the following video is long but has more details & it's really a nice one .....!!!

What on earth do i learn here?!

Being overwhelmed with the feeling of frustration for a long long time i always ask this Q ,..."What on earth do i learn here?!".......& i mean in the educational system i'm stuck in & i find out that i almost don't learn,...or let me say i should have learnt much more in the previous years,...especially in the university phase ,.....i know it may seem a -ve approach,....focusing on problems instead of moving forward.... , or a kind of hanging personal defects on others,....etc. & mayb it can b a part of the problem but still it's not the perfect system ,....& still i dnt feel a real progress.....!!!



sometimes i feel that i lost so much time & energy in useless things ,....i know nth is useless & whatever we get through our lives we benefit from it somehow,......but after all there r priorities & i cant c them in their right order ,.......i spent 3.5 years studying in the faculty ,....but have i learnt what i should've learnt through 3.5 years ?!!,...dnt think so,.....no solid basis,...no real practical knowledge ,....nth except some scattered courses related or unrelated to the final specialization with awful unbearable dr's who just focus on trivial things that doesnt add much to me except that growing frustration which is turning into dissatisfaction & demotivation day by day......!!!



i know it's the current situation & i have nth except dealing with it the way it is & benefiting from it as much as i can bla bla bla,...I KNOW,..I KNOW,..I KNOW,...but i can't help it ,...i'm really pissed off with all that ,.....i cant stand losing more years with the least benefit i can have,....i cant stand losing the passion of learning,...i can't stand missing the sense of accomplishment ,...& the worst of all i cant stand the idea that i may fail a course 4 the 1st time in my life for the sake of a bunch of psycho dr's.......I CANT STAND that <-<....!!!


i'm not in a need for someone to tell me that i need a paradigm shift or that i'm ruining evth with the way i think ,...coz it won't help after all as i'm stuck in this freaking state & i've been trying to get out of it for along time & nth worked properly for an acceptable period ,...& no1 can imagine how severe it is to remain that way for along time almost continuously ,...& i mean it... long long time ....!!!


i hate myself being complaining that much ,...coz it doesn't make difference ,....spread -ve energy in the air & make me feel guilty ,...so it makes things worse ,...but that's what it came out of me right now..... & after all it doesn't express the mixture of fury ,..disappointment,...demotivation ....& depression killing me all the time....!!!

Torture....!!

فى يوم من الأيام حلت على نائبة من نوائب الزمان....أذاقتنى من الذل ألوانا...و كانت للشقاء عنوانا....كان قربها عذابا...و بعدها سرابا ...و دربها لا يرجى منه ايابا....بها ما لا يحصى عددا...و لا يطيق أحدا....تكاد الجبال تخر منه هدا....تجعل من يومى أعواما ...و من النور اظلاما...و من الحقيقة أوهاما ....أخذها بالرفق و اللين...فتكون لى بئس القرين.....أعاملها بالقسوة و الجفاء...فتكون لى ألد الأعداء.....تصلينى نارها مرارا....فأرجو منها فرارا...فتزداد هى استعارا....!!ا
أصابنى منها الضعف و الاعياء...و لم أجد لها دواءا....فدعوت الله ألا يجعل لها بقاءا....و أن يرحم من شرورها أمثالنا الضعفاءَ.....فاللهم اكشف عنى ذاك الكرب...و اجعله تكفيرا لكل ذنب ....واحفظ عقلى راجحا ...و اجعلنى فى الدنيا و الأخرة ناجحا.....!!!ا


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for the microwaves <-<

Verses..!

This verse is one of the most verses that i always remember ,....in hard times my inner voice just yell @ me saying it reminding me that it's normal to have hard times & reach closed routes,...it makes me feel that i'm not that bad to have such feelings & it's kind of human feelings,.... coz even sayedna mohamed-pbuh- & his companions felt one day the hard times & said "مَتَى نَصْرُ اللَّهِ" ,.....on the other hand it makes me feel tiny coz i feel bad for things incomparable to what they faced ,....but after all i kind of daily remember it & tell my self:

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُواْ الْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ الَّذِينَ خَلَوْا مِن قَبْلِكُم مَّسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاء وَالضَّرَّاء وَزُلْزِلُواْ حَتَّى يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ مَعَهُ مَتَى نَصْرُ اللَّهِ أَلا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ
سورة البقرة

months ago ,..most probably last ramadan,.....i heared that verse differently ,...& it just made me terrified......!!!

وَمَنْ أَعْرَضَ عَن ذِكْرِي فَإِنَّ لَهُ مَعِيشَةً ضَنكا وَنَحْشُرُهُ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ أَعْمَى قَالَ رَبِّ لِمَ حَشَرْتَنِي أَعْمَى وَقَدْ كُنتُ بَصِيرًا قَالَ كَذَلِكَ أَتَتْكَ آيَاتُنَا فَنَسِيتَهَا وَكَذَلِكَ الْيَوْمَ تُنسَى وَكَذَلِكَ نَجْزِي مَنْ أَسْرَفَ وَلَمْ يُؤْمِن بِآيَاتِ رَبِّهِ وَلَعَذَابُ الآخِرَةِ أَشَدُّ وَأَبْقَى
سورة طه

around three weeks ago i was on alex standing by the see during sunset ,....looking to the beautiful scene i just remembered that verse :

إِنَّ فِي خَلْقِ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ وَاخْتِلافِ اللَّيْلِ وَالنَّهَارِ وَالْفُلْكِ الَّتِي تَجْرِي فِي الْبَحْرِ بِمَا يَنفَعُ النَّاسَ وَمَا أَنزَلَ اللَّهُ مِنَ السَّمَاء مِن مَّاء فَأَحْيَا بِهِ الأَرْضَ بَعْدَ مَوْتِهَا وَبَثَّ فِيهَا مِن كُلِّ دَابَّةٍ وَتَصْرِيفِ الرِّيَاحِ وَالسَّحَابِ الْمُسَخَّرِ بَيْنَ السَّمَاء وَالأَرْضِ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَعْقِلُونَ
سورة البقرة

a verse that i like so much,....mayb coz when i understood it i felt how wonderful the meaning & the analogies inside it,..sure all the quran is wonderful but sometimes a verse stick to ur mind some how for a reason or another :

أَنزَلَ مِنَ السَّمَاء مَاء فَسَالَتْ أَوْدِيَةٌ بِقَدَرِهَا فَاحْتَمَلَ السَّيْلُ زَبَدًا رَّابِيًا وَمِمَّا يُوقِدُونَ عَلَيْهِ فِي النَّارِ ابْتِغَاء حِلْيَةٍ أَوْ مَتَاعٍ زَبَدٌ مِّثْلُهُ كَذَلِكَ يَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْحَقَّ وَالْبَاطِلَ فَأَمَّا الزَّبَدُ فَيَذْهَبُ جُفَاء وَأَمَّا مَا يَنفَعُ النَّاسَ فَيَمْكُثُ فِي الأَرْضِ كَذَلِكَ يَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الأَمْثَالَ
سورة الرعد

to be cont.

تأملات فى حال البلاد و العباد...!!!ا

كثيرا ما اتأمل حال البلاد و العباد الذى يثير بداخلى الكثير من التساؤلات و الأفكار لما فيه من خلل بيّن وتناقضات مثيرة للدهشة.....!!!

و لعل أحد أكثر الأمور التى تشغلنى ذلك الانحدار فى الأخلاق و المعاملات الانسانية و التعايش بين الأفراد فى ظل النزعة الدينية الملحوظة لدى الكثيرين فى السنوات الأخيرة .....و التى كانت يجب أن ترتبط بدورها بارتقاء فى نواحى أخرى فى الحياة من الجانب النظرى ...!!!

و لكن ما نراه فعليا فى حياتنا اليومية أن الأمور المظهرية من الدين سواء كانت واجبة أو غير واجبة قد شغلت الكثيرين....تعدد الدعاة بمختلف التوجهات....اكتظت القنوات ببرامج الافتاء ....ظهرت قنوات دينية متخصصة.....امتلأت المساجد بالمصلين من جميع الأعمار فى ليالى رمضان.....زادت أعداد الملتحقين بمعاهد الدعاة و دراسة العلوم الشرعية و حفظ القران الكريم و تعلم التجويد ....الى أخر تلك المظاهر التى تدفع البعض الى الحكم على واقع الأمة بأنه فى ازدهار...الحكم الذى أراه قاصرا لأنه على صورة منقوصة.....فعلى الجانب الأخر نرى تردى الأخلاق... و استفحال الفساد ...و ازدياد معدلات الجرائم الشاذة....و تمكن التعصب و رفض الأخر من العقول... و انعدام التسامح مع المسلم و غير المسلم...و حدوث المشادات داخل المساجد بين الناس....بل و بين الشيوخ بعضهم البعض على صفحات الجرائد و قنوات التلفزيون ....الى أخر تلك الأفات التى تعزز حالة الفوضى و التقهقر فى المجتمع.......!!!

و اذا كان الحال هكذا فانه بالطبع يستحق التأمل كثيرا..... و لعلنى فكرت أن ذلك قد يرجع الى أن تلك النزعة الدينية الملحوظة تفتقد احيانا و عند البعض الى التقويم الذى يمنعها من التحول الى مجرد عاطفة تدفع صاحبها الى التخبط بعيدا عن الأولويات ...و لعل هذا التقويم يتطلب العلم الذى يكبح جماح العاطفة و يوجهها الى الطريق الصحيح...و لا أقصد هنا العلوم المتخصصة و لكن أقصد على الأقل ما لا يسع المسلم جهله ......و لا يعنى هذا أن الرقائق أو الأمور الروحانية غير هامة...و لكنها فى نظرى لها مجرد دور فى شحن الانسان و اعلاء همته على ألا تصبح كل ما يسمع و كل ما يعلم كما يحدث كثيرا فى الأيام الحالية ...!!!

و اذا أفضت فى نقطة العلم فاننى أرى أن حتى من يهتمون بالاستفاضة فى العلم قد يقعون مع قليلى علم و فقه يفسدون عقولهم و لا يعطونهم القدر الكافى من فقه الاختلاف و فقه الأولويات الذى يضبط العلاقات بينهم و بين الأخرين و يكسبهم التوازن الكافى ...و أذكر على سبيل المثال أنى سمعت أحد الشيوخ أو الدعاة الذى يتابعه الكثيرون غيرى يقول لمستمعيه أننا لا ننكر وجود الاختلاف و لكن الأفضل الأخذ بالأحوط و هو الأصعب فى رأيه تحسبا لأن يجد الشخص يوم القيامة أن هذا الأمر الأصعب هو ما قضى الله.... و هو ما أصابنى بالدهشة لمقارنتى هذا الموقف بموقف الصحابة فى حديث بنى قريظة حيث لم يكن هناك رأى أصح بالرغم من اختلاف الرأيين تماما......فذلك الشيخ يقر مبدا الاختلاف ثم يلغيه فى الثوانى التالية...أما فى موقف بنى قريظة يعلم الرسول _عليه الصلاة و السلام _أعظم درس عن الاجتهاد فى تفسير النص و جواز الاختلاف مع صحة الرأيين و احترام و قبول المختلفين لبعضهم البعض..!!!!

وقد يرجع الخلل فى مصادر العلم بشكل أو بأخر الى اضعاف دور الأزهر و افتقاد مصداقيته كمؤسسة لدى الأفراد.....بالرغم من أنه جدير بأن يكون المؤسسة الأقدر على نشر الوعى و العلم اذا كان له الاستقلالية و المصداقية الكافية ....لما به من العلماء الفقهاء الذين يتمتعون بالوسطية.....و الذين قد لا يظهروا كثيرا لوجود مقاييس أخرى فى الاعلام أو لعدم خبرتهم الكافية بتبسيط و نقل العلم للانسان البسيط......و هو ما يصرف الناس الى البحث عن العلم و استقائه من مصادر موثوق فيها أو غير موثوق فيها....تبعا لمن يقابله أولا أو وعيه أو غير ذلك من العوامل.!!!

أعلم أن الأمر ملئ بالمتغيرات التى تعتمد بعضها على بعض و أن هذا ليس كل شئ و قد يكون للحديث بقية...و لكن خلاصة القول أنى شعرت من خلال تأملاتى أن عدم انعكاس النزعة الدينية على الحياة اليومية ووجود ذلك الاتفصام السائد و حالة التردى الأخلاقى و الاجتماعى المقابل يرتبط ارتباطا وثيقا بما سبق و أوجزه فيما يلى

*الافراط فى الاهتمام بالقشور و المظهر دون الجوهر....

*الاتجاه الى العاطفة و تأجيج المشاعر دون توجه مقابل الى علم يرسخ تلك المشاعر و يوجهها فى طريق العمل الأمثل

*انتشار الشيوخ و الدعاة الذين يساهمون فى نشر التعصب الفكرى و مبادئ الأخذ بالأصعب

*اختفاء علماء الوسطية الى حد كبير أو وجود حلقة مفقودة بينهم و بين الفرد العادى

*ضعف مصداقية الأزهرو دوره كمؤسسة قوية ذات ثقل فى نفس الفرد العادى

و غير ذلك مما قد يأتى ذكره لاحقا

و للحديث بقية ما دام فى العمر بقية

هذى بلاد لم تعد كبلادى...!!ا

Farouk Gowaida's latest poem ....!!!

هذى بلاد لم تعد كبلادى...!!ا

«إلي شهداء مصر من الشباب الذين ابتلعتهم

الأمواج علي شواطئ إيطاليا وتركيا واليونان»

كم عشتُ أسألُ: أين وجــــــــهُ بــــلادي

أين النخيلُ وأيـن دفءُ الــوادي

لاشيء يبدو في السَّمـَــاءِ أمـامنــــــــــا

غيرُ الظـلام ِوصــورةِ الجــلاد

هو لا يغيبُ عن العيــــــــون ِكأنــــــــه

قدرٌٌ .. كيوم ِ البعــثِ والميــــلادِ

قـَدْ عِشْتُ أصْــــرُخُ بَينـَكـُمْ وأنـَـــــادي

أبْنِي قـُصُورًا مِنْ تِـلال ِ رَمَـــادِ

أهْفـُـو لأرْض ٍلا تـُسـَـــاومُ فـَرْحَتـِــــي

لا تـَسْتِبيحُ كـَرَامَتِي .. وَعِنَــادِي

أشْتـَـاقُ أطـْفـَـــــالا ً كـَحَبــَّاتِ النـَّــــدَي

يتـَرَاقصُونَ مَـعَ الصَّبَاح ِالنـَّادِي

أهْـــفـُــــو لأيـَّـام ٍتـَـوَارَي سِحْــرُهَـــــا

صَخَبِ الجـِيادِ.. وَفرْحَةِ الأعْيادِ

اشْتـَقـْــــتُ يوْمـًا أنْ تـَعـُــودَ بــِــــلادِي

غابَتْ وَغِبْنـَا .. وَانـْتهَتْ ببعَادِي

فِي كـُلِّ نَجْــم ٍ ضَــلَّ حُلـْـــٌم ضَائـِـــــع ٌ

وَسَحَابَــة ٌ لـَبسـَـتْ ثيــَـابَ حِدَادِ

وَعَلـَي الـْمَدَي أسْـرَابُ طـَيــر ٍرَاحِــــل ٍ

نـَسِي الغِنَاءَ فصَارَ سِـْربَ جَرَادِ

هَذِي بِلادٌ تـَاجَـــرَتْ فــِـي عِرْضِهـــَــا

وَتـَفـَـرَّقـَتْ شِيعًا بـِكـُـــلِّ مَـــزَادِ

لـَمْ يبْقَ مِنْ صَخَبِ الـِجيادِ سِوَي الأسَي

تـَاريخُ هَذِي الأرْضِ بَعْضُ جِيادِ

فِي كـُلِّ رُكـْن ٍمِنْ رُبــُــوع بـِـــــلادِي

تـَبْدُو أمَامِي صـُورَة ُالجــَــــلادِ

لـَمَحُوهُ مِنْ زَمَن ٍ يضَاجـِــعُ أرْضَهَـــا

حَمَلـَتْ سِفـَاحًا فـَاسْتبَاحَ الـوَادِي

لـَمْ يبْقَ غَيرُ صـُـرَاخ ِ أمـْــس ٍ رَاحـِـل ٍ

وَمَقـَابـِر ٍ سَئِمَتْ مـِــنَ الأجْـــدَادِ

وَعِصَابَةٍ سَرَقـَتْ نـَزيــفَ عُيـُـونِنـَــــا

بـِالقـَهْر ِ والتـَّدْليـِس ِ.. والأحْقـَادِ

مَا عَادَ فِيهَا ضَوْءُ نـَجْــــم ٍ شـَــــــاردٍ

مَا عَادَ فِيها صَوْتُ طـَير ٍشـَـــادِ

تـَمْضِي بـِنـَا الأحْزَانُ سَاخِــــرَة ًبـِنـَــا

وَتـَزُورُنـَا دَوْمــًا بـِـلا مِيعــَـــادِ

شَيءُ تـَكـَسَّرَ فِي عُيونـِــــي بَعْدَمَـــــا

ضَاقَ الزَّمَانُ بـِثـَوْرَتِي وَعِنَادِي

أحْبَبْتـُهَا حَتـَّي الثـُّمَالـَـــــة َ بَينـَمـَــــــا

بَاعَتْ صِبَاهَا الغـَضَّ للأوْغـَــادِ

لـَمْ يبْقَ فِيها غَيـرُ صُبْــح ٍكـَـــــــاذِبٍ

وَصُرَاخ ِأرْض ٍفي لـَظي اسْتِعْبَادِ

لا تـَسْألوُنـِي عَنْ دُمُـوع بــِــــــلادِي

عَنْ حُزْنِهَا فِي لحْظةِ اسْتِشْهَادِي

فِي كـُلِّ شِبْر ٍ مِنْ ثـَرَاهـَا صَــرْخَـــة ٌ

كـَانـَتْ تـُهَرْولُ خـَلـْفـَنـَا وتـُنَادِي

الأفـْقُ يصْغُرُ .. والسَّمَــاءُ كـَئِيبـَـة ٌ

خـَلـْفَ الغُيوم ِأرَي جـِبَالَ سَـوَادِ

تـَتـَلاطـَمُ الأمْوَاجُ فـَــوْقَ رُؤُوسِنـَــــــا

والرَّيحُ تـُلـْقِي للصُّخُور ِعَتـَادِي

نَامَتْ عَلـَي الأفـُق البَعِيـــدِ مَلامــــــحٌ

وَتـَجَمَّدَتْ بَينَ الصَّقِيـِع أيـــَـــادِ

وَرَفـَعْتُ كـَفـِّي قـَدْ يرَانـِي عَاِبـــــــــرٌ

فرَأيتُ أمِّي فِي ثِيـَــابِ حـِـــــدَادِ

أجْسَادُنـَا كـَانـَتْ تـُعَانـِـــقُ بَعْضَهـَــــا

كـَوَدَاع ِ أحْبَــابٍ بــِــلا مِيعـَــادِ

البَحْرُ لـَمْ يرْحَمْ بَـرَاءَة َعُمْرنـَـــــــــا

تـَتـَزاحَمُ الأجْسَادُ .. فِي الأجْسَادِ

حَتـَّي الشَّهَادَة ُرَاوَغـَتـْنــِي لـَحْظـَــة ً

وَاستيقـَظـَتْ فجْرًا أضَاءَ فـُؤَادي

هَذا قـَمِيـصـِـــي فِيهِ وَجْــــهُ بُنـَيتــِي

وَدُعَاءُ أمي .."كِيسُ"مِلـْح ٍزَادِي

رُدُّوا إلي أمِّي القـَمِيـــصَ فـَقـَـدْ رَأتْ

مَالا أرَي منْ غـُرْبَتِي وَمُـرَادِي

وَطـَنٌ بَخِيلٌ بَاعَنــي فـــــي غفلـــــةٍ

حِينَ اشْترتـْهُ عِصَابَة ُالإفـْسَـــادِ

شَاهَدْتُ مِنْ خـَلـْفِ الحُدُودِ مَوَاكِبــًـا

للجُوع ِتصْرُخُ فِي حِمَي الأسْيادِ

كـَانـَتْ حُشُودُ المَوْتِ تـَمْرَحُ حَوْلـَنـَا

وَالـْعُمْرُ يبْكِي .. وَالـْحَنِينُ ينَادِي

مَا بَينَ عُمْـــــر ٍ فـَرَّ مِنـِّي هَاربـــــًـا

وَحِكايةٍ يزْهـُــو بـِهـَـــا أوْلادِي

عَنْ عَاشِق ٍهَجَرَ البـِلادَ وأهْلـَهـــــــَـــا

وَمَضي وَرَاءَ المَال ِوالأمْجـَـــادِ

كـُلُّ الحِكـَايةِ أنَّهـــَـــا ضَاقـَتْ بـِنـَـــــا

وَاسْتـَسْلـَمَتَ لِلــِّـصِّ والقـَـــوَّادِ!

في لـَحْظـَةٍ سَكـَنَ الوُجُودُ تـَنـَاثـَـــرَتْ

حَوْلِي مَرَايا المَوْتِ والمِيـَـــلادِ

قـَدْ كـَانَ آخِرَ مَا لـَمَحْتُ عـَلـَي الـْمَـدَي

وَالنبْضُ يخْبوُ .. صُورَة ُالجـَلادِ

قـَدْ كـَانَ يضْحَـكُ وَالعِصَابَة ُحَوْلـَــــــهُ

وَعَلي امْتِدَادِ النَّهْر يبْكِي الوَادِي

وَصَرَخْتُ ..وَالـْكـَلِمَاتُ تهْرَبُ مِنْ فـَمِي:

هَذِي بـِلادٌ .. لمْ تـَعُـــدْ كـَبـِلادِي

فاروق جويدة

The Semi-Country....!!

along time ago i was sitting alone & a kind of analogy popped into my mind,.....it's related to science,....so mayb it bothers some ppl,.....coz going too far in scientific issues sometimes irritates ppl,...& it may happen to me ,...so i'm not just getting sophisticated for no reason,..it's just coz i felt that natural phenomenon gives explanation for what's happening in reality ...... just follow the blog to the end to get the whole idea....!!



let's start with the scientific theory,......it's said that in a piece of semiconductor (for example) & under thermal equilibrium with no external excitation carriers (electrons & holes) move randomly but the net displacement is almost zero & there's no current so it may seem -from the macroscopic point of view-that there is no motion although it's a dynamic process,....on the other hand if an electric field is applied it forces the carriers to have a different path & prevents'm from deviation & consequently the net displacement is not zero & a current can pass.....!!


so where is the analogy ?!!!


simply i thought that we can think about ppl as the carriers the country as the piece of semiconductor under thermal equilibrium & the electric field as the law,the legislations, the policies & whatever controls the relations between ppl in the country & direct them towards a stable & productive life.....!!

the country is in a dynamic process microscopically ,.....ppl move in all directions ,...there are good & bad ppl ,...there are constructive actions & distructive ones,..... even though the country seems static macroscopically if we look to the whole picture ....!!

WHY?....coz ppl moves randomly ,...the one who has the potential to build finds another one eager to destroy,......coz every action has it's reverse that kinda deletes it .

The most important point is the absence of law ,....or let's say powerful applied law to prevent ppl from deviations ,....force them to take the right path & control the chaos which ruins evth.......i can also consider the policies & the vision as part of the electric field as a clear policy & an ambitious vision can be a great driving force for ppl to move forward in an organized harmonic & productive way.....!!!


that's y i think our country does not achieve a net motion forward although there's a noticeable motion among individuals which makes it in a dynamic state just internally ......while it's static as a whole or let me call it a semi-country.....!!!

so that was the analogy & that was the theory,...the semi-country theory.....!!

Temporarily Feeling Better...!!

For along time i haven't had a week where i felt better like this week,.....it's the midterms' week....!!!

but no,....i don't feel better coz i like exams or coz i did well in them,....as usual my performance in exams is not good anymore,.....& it became of my expectations,......!!!

but what makes me feel better is that i have a break from the daily routine of the boring faculty days <-<,.....from the suffocating atmosphere i live in since the beginning of this year<-<,....it's just coz i don't spend alot of time among those ppl who r just "mostafezeen" with their attitude,.....those Dr's & TA's whom i can't stand anymore :@....!!

in fact i have a kind of turnover over this year,..it reminds me of stories i've been told about my childhood when i was in KG & days came when i just woke up crying & saying "i dont wanna go,..i dont wanna go" with no significant reason as i was an ideal kid in the school & they rarely complained of me there ,.....but dunno mayb it was like nowadays when i wake up feeling bad & reluctantly go to the faculty to sit(or even sleep<-<) in those boring useless oxygenless lectures..... looking in my watch each 5 mins to wonder y time doesn't pass ...& y i have this feeling of suffocation filling me......!!!

& simply 2day in the faculty or years ago in KG it must b sth psychological & may b undefined....or defined....!

so,..it seems crazy to feel better in the exams period ,...but that's how i explain feeling better ,...& unfortunately i know this state is gonna vanish after 3 days or so when i come back to run in those daily boring continuous circles & loops ...!!

-----------------------------



Aside

Dedication To 3abeer:) 'my dear Palestinian friend'

فى القدس

(the audience sound is bothering but this is the available version & i know u like it ,.....hope everything turns better for u soon ISA )

LYRICS

The Game Of Democracy....!

Why can't ppl in some counties practice skating?!.....coz of the environment....!!

Why don't ppl in some countries know or play rugby?!....coz they didn't watch it b4,didn't try it or even knew its rules.....!!

Similarly why don't some ppl play democracy,....simply coz they neither have the suitable cultural environment nor know the rules of democracy as they have never lived it.....!!!

So if we consider democracy a game ,....we can say that some ppl can play it & others dnt,.....but after all it's to b learnt & played under some conditions.....!!!


what made me think about this issue was a program on Al Arabeya channel about elections in an Asian primary school(mayb Japan or China) ,.....actually i watched part of it but it was interesting to c how 10-year-old kids played the game of democracy their way ,......how they prepared their campaigns,...chose their teams,.....gather info about other candidates,....made lists of their competitors defects to scandalize them ,....made promotion (or kinda bribe) to attract more voters,.....made frequent statistics for the votes they may have,.....stood in debates to attack each other & answer voters Qs to win more votes,.... etc.

& for sure all that was full of childish funny issues,...as in attacking one of the candidates by saying that he eats slowly ,beating another kid ,..lying....etc

also in the kind of promotion which was a trip for all the kids in the TGV offered by a candidate's father who was a police man or sth (notice the role of authority even in the world of kids ;;).......& so on

& after all the nature of kids dominated ,....but grown ups (parents & students) supported ,...motivated & pushed them to carry on & take the way to the end,......they also made the voters feel how valuable their voices were,......& finally they ensured transparency in elections :D as the kids themselves counted the votes to announce the president of the class ....!!


that was an interesting program,....& it shows why can some ppl learn how to play the game of democracy since childhood,......why some ppl grow up knowing the rule of the game ,....practicing it ,....believing in its value ,....& getting as much benefit as possible from it even in their daily lives ......!!!


but the Q here,...is it impossible for hot countries to try skating on ice?
or can a non american person play rugby?!

the answer is NO,...it's not impossible,.....coz if the environment is converted (even partially) so the circumstances are suitable & if ppl r taught the rules of a foreign game , understand & practice it ,...they will have the chance to to play those new games......& surely there are many things to push them towards a rapid progress in learning like leaving the sense of superiority & individuality aside -to a point- & believing in the game's effect on their lives.....!!!


i know it's not a simple issues,...but let's say that i'm just discussing a general idea about democracy in different levels,.....i.e: not necessarily in political life,....coz it's a game to b played in everyday life & just those who practice it in simple issues can play it as professionals in politics or that kind of crucial issues in life,........i also know that it's not always that great,...illegal acts & corruption sometimes take place,......yeah,..it's true,....but it's not a defect in the game ,....it's a defect in the players ethics & it happens everywhere......but after all it's not a reason to delete the whole game !!


so mayb i feel that it's hopeless here ,.....coz almost nth of the factors is available ,....but talking generally ; many ppl & countries could make it & reach maturity in a short period,....to play the game of democracy professionally .......!!!

The Broken Smile...!

More than 2 years ago before 1st electrical i bought that clipboard,.....i used it all the time in & out the faculty.....it was a freaking one,....coz the clip was a smily face,... it has smiley faces everywhere ,...so sometimes i got angry @ it coz it always smiled even if it's a bad time for me,...& here i took a pencil & drew a reverse smile -i.e :( - on its mouth ....!!

last year a small part of it was broken,...it was from the parts supporting the clip ,...but it survived & i could use it despite what happened,.....!!!

few days ago,....the other part supporting it was broken,....& the clipboard's life ended :(........
,.....if it was a human i would say that it may b a kind of objection or sth,......but i liked it even if i tortured it!!

after all it's gone & the smile was broken....!!!!!!!!!

The Crescent...!!

more than a month ago i was talking with sb & she told me:

"look,....u may not c the light,....not even a ray ,...it may b completely dark,....but believe that the light is there somewhere even if u can't feel it"

regardless of how much i stick to this belief ,....i just remembered some parts of this poem....!!

أنا الاحتمالْ

أنا الزَّعمُ أن اللإضاءةَ في الليلِ ممكنةٌ دونَ أن تظلمَ النارُ زيتاً

ودونَ افتخارِ الدُّخَانِ بلا وَجْهِ حَقٍّ على العالمينْ



أنا الليلُ حينَ يخالفُ فِطْرَتَهُ ويُضِيءُ

أنا الاحتمالُ الضئيلْ

أقولُ لكم إنَّ شمساً، وإن فارَقَتْ، ما تَزَالُ هُنا

في زوايا السماءِ

ووجهيِ عليها الدَّليلْ

أنا الاحتمالُ الخفيفُ الثقيلْ

أنا كُلَّما أضَعَفَ الله ضوئي طالَبْتُكم أن تَرَوْنِيَ أكثَرَ

هاتوا مناظيرَكُم واستعِدُّوا

أنا الأَمَلُ المستَغِلُّ الذي دائماً يطلبُ المستحيلْ



يُوقِنُ الراصدونَ بأن لا صَبَاحَ سَيَطْلُعُ مِنِّي

لأني ضعيفٌ نحيفٌ هزيلْ

ويأتونكم بالبراهينِ، هذا هُوَ العِلْمُ

إن الأَهِلَّةَ أَبْخَلُ من أن تَجُودَ عليكم بنورٍ

وإن الأَهِلَّةّ محضُ صخورٍ

ويأتونكم بالبراهينِ

وعدُ الهلالِ لكم بالضياءِ ضلالْ

ويقولون إذ يُمْعِنُ الليلُ في نَفْسِهِ

وأكادُ أغيبُ

انظروا، إنه سوف يَتْرُكُكُمْ للظلام،

ويَنْتَحِلُونَ لِيَ العُذْرَ،

إن الظَّلامَ كَثِيرٌ

وإن الهلالَ قليلْ

ولكنَّهُم يُذْهَلُونَ إذا ما أَطَلَّ عليكم بِوَجْهِي صباحٌ جديدْ

لم أَغِبْ، كنتُ أحضِرُه من مَكَامِنِهِ،

أَيْ نَعَمْ، مِتُّ حتى أتيتُ بِهِ

فأنا الميِّتُ الحيُّ فيهِ

اْذكروني اْذكروني إذا جاء صبحٌ

ففي كلِّ صبحٍ هلالٌ شهيد

تميم البرغوثى
مقام عراق